The Many Faces of the Affair Partner

6 Responses

  1. This is a great article. Affairs are not all the same. They are all devastating but our view of it, and the way we react to it, is different depending on the context. thanks for highligting this.

  2. Karen Katz says:

    I had to deal with the co-worker being the mistress. She was the Willing Participant, the Instigator and the Saboteur!!! – needless to say, I did not win the battle. I am convinced that threats were made regarding him keeping his job if he left her. BUT the sad truth, he betrayed me and our children.
    They got married, had a baby and what I hear, not blissfully happy. If I could have one wish….it would be that she could go through what she put me through – betrayal, embarrassment, a broken heart, loneliness, the day I had to remove my wedding ring, the day I had a STD test, begging for money, my children driving away to her house for the weekend, my life in ruins… this is what SHE deserves, after all, I did not step into her life, she stepped into mine!!! It would have been easier If he died. I would have been a widow, not a divorcee! People send flowers to a widow but judge a divorcee!
    Karma is not playing the game.

    • stilllearning2b says:

      How awful!

      I, too, expressed that it would have been easier if my former husband had died. At least then he wouldn’t have been able to continue to interfere in my life and, as you state, the reaction of others can be quite different. I hope that you’re able to create a life so fulfilling that you no longer care about her.

  3. Diane Hanak says:

    The affair partner is his high school sweetheart. ( From 50 yrs ago) They want to be together but her husband is unaware that she is going to leave him. What is your opinion of me calling her husband to make him aware of the situation?

    • stilllearning2b says:

      That’s always a hard call. All too often, the person that tells gets the brunt of the anger, especially if the person doesn’t want to hear/isn’t ready to accept. Yet it also feel good knowing something so potentially damaging and not saying something.

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