Speaking Out: Why Hiding Your Struggles Makes it Worse

10 Responses

  1. tywood12 says:

    Reblogged this on My New Life.

  2. Really good post this and one I relate to:

    “We all need a human connection. We wither away without affection, attention and connection just as easily as we do without without food.”

    Yep, this is something I’ve struggled with at times while being single.

    “It is not your responsibility to ensure that others never feel pain. It is your responsibility to not willingly inflict needless suffering. And trying too hard to protect somebody often results in the pain magnifying needlessly.”

    Definitely! And it’s hard when you have it done to you.

    “It’s not unusual for those stricken with depression or addiction to be people-pleasers. To want to be liked and often to find their own validation through that of others.”

    Yes, definitely an element of that in me.

    Great post 🙂

  3. This post hits so close to home, I had no clue about my ex’s addiction until the night I packed my stuff and moved out. When I started tempting things to make sure I had everything of mine is when I found the pills. There had to be 100 or more.

    I knew he been through a lot as a kid growing up and with his ex and her addiction to pills, but I had no clue he was to. He hated it so much and talked about all him and the kids had been through because of it. People who knew him for many years didn’t know. All he told me I really though we were good and he told me everything. He also was depressed I knew that but he wouldn’t get help for it. He say its a state of mind you have to just decide to be happy. He didn’t need any help.

    Wow this post has brought back so much.

  4. This is possibly the most spot on and powerfully written blogs I have read since I have started my own recovery journey. Thank you so much for this perspective. As a recovering addict who kept it hidden for 20 years I can relate to every single word. Life-changing stuff here for sure. Could I re-post this on my blog?

    • Kudos to you for having the courage to face your addiction and extra kudos for sharing your story!! That’s huge!

      Thank you for your endorsement. It means a lot, especially since I’ve had to struggle to understand my husband’s addiction after the fact and after he left. I’d be honored to have you repost:)

  5. tracihalpin says:

    My ex lived behind a mask. He had to be seen as the best at everything and he needed approval to the point of codependency. He tried to tell me the day before our wedding. I was dropping him off at his parent’s house and he seemed nervous and he said you need to know something about me. I need approval. I need to be liked. I casually said ok got it. I had no idea how deep this dysfunctional need went. Unfortunately, I found out.

  6. Chris Orrick says:

    Hey Lisa,

    Firstly let me say – what a great post, like really.

    As a guy who coaches men around really quite complex issues I’m trying to put messages out to guys that it’s OK to ask for help. Now, maybe professionals might never be able to save marriages – but we sure as hell can help the guy change behaviours and / or addictions in the hope that the marriage can be rescued.

    I want all men to feel comfortable searching for help – this may be counselling, therapy, coaching, hypnotherapy or GP.


  1. December 24, 2018

    […] When we try to hide all of our emotion, to lock it away in a deep, dark cupboard, we send ourselves the message that our feelings are something to be ashamed of. And shame is a powerful and malignant force. […]

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