How to Dilute Your Bitterness

13 Responses

  1. These are really good tips for letting go of bitterness. I know I certainly was bitter for a long time over my divorce, angry at him for cheating and for the web of lies he created to maintain a girlfriend on the side. But eventually, I realized that I wasn’t hurting him or the new girlfriend by being bitter. I was only hurting myself. It took me a long time to escape from feelings of bitterness but I eventually got there. Thanks for the tips and the well written post!

  2. Hows this for diluting bitterness?
    1. My ex-husband STILL has my name tattoo’d on the middle of his chest, creepy! A ex-wife and 3rd ex-wife to be after me, man this must really piss all those women off! Why they tolerate that crap I will never know!
    2. When I come across the widow box, (you know divorce, married, single), I pause and laugh!
    3. I think it all comes down to knowing your marriage not working out is more a reflection of who they are, not you. My ex was horrid to me, and if he didnt leave me, I would of stayed. I believe everything he told me. He even admitted, in a very mean way, he had to leave me or else I wouldnt go. I truly had no clue what he was up to, now I know way to much, and he hates me. Like I care. Hmmp! 😒

    • I’ve always wondered how the new flames felt about the former name tattoos!

      • I had his name as well, my boyfriend, bless his heart, never said a word, I think it was my birthday, (we have been together for 9 years this March, I know it was our first big gift giving thing), asked me what I wanted. I said I wanted my ex’s name covered, it was on the nape of my neck and my hair is waist long. He said “oh I never noticed, it was covered in 3 days, he’s such a liar. But he never mentioned it, and he asked me why I never said anything before, he would of covered it for me sooner, I said I was embaressed. He just hugged me. But, hes a gentlemen like that. 😊

  3. secretangel says:

    Powerful post. So much truth in what you say. I love that “bitterness is anger past the expiration date.” Never heard it put like that but that is right. Thanks for sharing.

  4. Jordan Walsh says:

    “Bitterness is anger past its expiration date….” great line. Love it.

  5. “Anger sparks when something or someone is testing our boundaries. It tells us to stand up for ourselves and our rights. It’s a neon arrow pointing to what needs to change.”

    I often wonder why I get accused of being bitter by my ex…when I truly don’t feel bitter in my heart, though I often feel angry. I think with your post I found a way to explain. I no longer feel anger that he had an affair. I no longer feel anger that he left his family. I no longer feel anger that he forever changed the fabric of our children’s lives. I ONLY feel anger at the currently occurring interactions that happen with such frequency that sometimes I can’t seem to recover from one before the next arrives. He constantly attempts to test my boundaries which causes me to feel bound to standing up for myself and my rights. Once the interactions cease to occur, I think I will then be ultimately free of the anger and any possible bitterness that resides under the surface. Right now all I can do is limit interactions to the best of my abilities and try to maintain my calm in the knowledge that I am doing the best I can and that I have the right to have expectations about how I wish to be treated and the right to have limits to what I should be expected to do for him.

    • Sounds like great insight:)

    • I was upset one day about something my ex did, and how he reacted bothered me, ( as if). My therapist (the mean one, i have a nice one and a mean one), says “K, you asked him for A, B, C – how he reacts to it is his problem, you have no control of anyone else, if he doesnt want to help or whatever, all you did was ask, find another solution”. Man, I hate it when he is right! So I have been taking this approach of late, I find I am less frustrated, I am only one person! I cant make anyone do anything, even with court orders!

      • Oh and I think they like to say BITTER, because women associate the word to a old ugly spinster alone with a million cats no man could possibly ever love again! Lol I told my ex when we first seperated lol – “I can be bitter and be HOT!” The look on his face was worth it! Hmmp! Lol, the stupidity that comes out of our mouth when we are angry knows no boundries. Haha! It shut him right up though!

      • Yeah, I don’t even ask him for anything. More often it is my ex having expectations that he feels I should be doing for him…keeping his calendar of kids events, going in together on Christmas gifts, responding in some way to informational texts (not questions), etc

  6. Michele Covino says:

    My ex had a lot of tattoos. Our anniversary date is on his upper back. He now has chronic Hep C so can’t get anything covered. Hmm…wonder what he tells her that date 11.11.11 means. LOL Eh…his issue now.

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