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Happiness is Divorce in the Rearview Mirror

25 Responses

  1. I love your wisdom. I am divorced. I took my wedding vows very seriously. To this day, my ex husband claims our marriage should never have been legal, as he was so high and drunk on our wedding day, he doesn’t remember it. (Never mind the proposal and the year prior to our marriage… I guess he was out of it for years and I just didn’t know.) We made it 10 years; he cheated on me twice, once with my ex best friend who he is now engaged to. I raised our son single handedly. I have moved on; I have found happiness. However, every time he contacts me (via email because his new bride to be won’t allow us to actually speak) he is still placing blame. EVERYTHING is MY fault. Am I guilty of being a bad person? Absolutely. Have I said and done things I regret? Of course! However, he’s coming at me as though I’m still that person. There’s a popular quote… “Don’t judge me by my past…I don’t live there any more.” Well, that’s me. I’m a much better person since our divorce, despite the fact that my only sister took his side and remains his friend while she turned her back on me. I’ve learned a great del about “friends” vs. those hangers-on that you mentioned. It saddens me to know, that even though we have completely severed all ties (my son never wants to hear his name again) that he’s still miserable. Everyone deserves happiness. They are not happy. When my son used to go visit, he’d never make it 24 hours. He had to come home because all they do is scream and yell, and they keep producing children. My heart goes out to those children. They’re going to grow up in a house full of hate and resentment. Well, I was able to save my son, and although I claim to be a better person, after his recent email attack, I no longer wish him happiness. I wish for him, everything he deserves. I’m going to keep moving forward, and he can sit in the past and fester in his own misery. We’re loving life! Awesome post!! And so very true.

    • “Don’t judge me by my past…”
      LOVE that quote! And it’s so true. Someone’s response to their past is much more telling than the past itself.

      Do you have to read his emails??? Ugh.

      • Not any more. I save them for the judge, as they’re full of venom and hate and most likely written by his girlfriend as the grammatical errors tell me quite a bit. However, I’m going to go to court next week, and ask the judge for sole custody. He told me IN WRITING that he’s done with our son, and to just move out of state to get away from him. hat’s exactly what I intend to do. However, if I don’t get the judge’s permission, he’d be the first one in line on Monday morning to charge me with kidnapping. I’m just glad to be rid of him!! And the things he said/wrote to my son? HIGHLY inappropriate for an 11 year old. I’m thinking the judge will see all of this and just grant me sole custody (he’s been ordered 3 times to take a parenting class, and instead just keeps having more children) and she’s thoroughly disgusted with him already. However, should we have to meet before a judge, I can’t wait to hear his defense. He mocked the death of my boyfriends son. How in the world are you going to explain THAT to a judge?!

  2. I am coming up on the one year anniversary of receiving the Final Decree dissolving my marriage, and I am happy, relieved, sad, and slightly disappointed that it didn’t work. But, mostly, I feel free to go back to being who I was (as much as possible) before I got married and divorced. I think that is the predominate emotion: freedom.

  3. Well said my friend. You hit the nail right on the head. πŸ™‚

  4. Ray says:

    Excellent post Lisa. I know I am happier now. It was my call and it was the right one

  5. Not final yet … so waiting for the day. πŸ™‚
    Great post.

  6. John Greene says:

    The process of going through a divorce can be long and tiring as well as emotionally draining. There is often a sense of relief and freedom when the divorce is finalized and this is typically when the healing starts.

  1. September 29, 2014

    […] they’re both awful, horrible, no good, very bad experiences. But, as I’ve said before, happiness is divorce in the rearview mirror. Get through and get […]

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    […] Happiness is divorce in the rearview mirror. […]

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