There is nothing fun about divorce. I can’t ever imagine anyone – even the most devout fan of Fifty Shades of Gray – choosing to go through a divorce for the entertainment factor. Even in the most clearcut of situations where both parties agree that the marriage is terminal, the process of severing two intertwined lives is awful. And when there are complicating factors? It’s awfuler (yeah, when it comes to divorce, that IS a real word. promise).
But once you’re through?
Once the courtroom and the endless requests for documentation are over.
After the decisions have been made and the consequences determined.
When the divorce is in the rearview mirror.
That’s when the happiness comes.
If you know how to look for it.
Worst is Over
The final decree often brings with it a sense of relief. I personally went from never wanting a divorce to wanting a divorce more than anything else. I just wanted it to over. The months or years sandwiched between the decision to divorce (regardless of who makes the call) and the legal dissolution of marriage are horrible. It’s easy to feel lost and confused and attacked from all sides. The decree doesn’t make everything okay, but it sure helps to alleviate some of the unknown. The worst is over and now…
Healing Can Begin
It’s difficult to heal without resolution. After the legal process is over, you know what you have (and what you don’t). It’s a place – even if it’s rock bottom – where you can start to rebuild. Your focus can shift from the separation to yourself. Healing won’t happen immediately; the decree is no magic salve. But it WILL happen in its own time. One of the keys in healing from divorce is to recognize how far you have come. Celebrate your…
You made it. It seemed impossible. But you’re through it and still breathing. At least on most days. That’s something to celebrate. Give yourself credit for your successes, both big and small. See yourself as a survivor and strive to be a thriver. Have gratitude for the blessings you have in your life, including your…
Divorce has a way of sifting out the true friends from the mere hangers-on. The ones who remain are special. They have now seen you at your most vulnerable and still seek you out. That’s pretty damn cool. Enjoy the security and comfort provided by the stalwart confidantes, but also don’t be afraid to seek out…
Just like we experience a surge of energy at the beginning of a new year, a new school term or after a birthday, divorce also clears away the old and leaves room for the new. Anything is possible when nothing is certain. Rather than focus on the loss, choose to see the potential. Because when you’re rebuilding your life from the ground up, you have…
Divorce is a helluva teacher. Don’t let those lessons go to waste.