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Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A “How to Thrive” Guide After Divorce

Dry Rot

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Deutsch: Holzbalken mit intensivem Befall durc...

My marriage was a house with dry rot.  Who knows when that first insidious fungi moved in, starting to dissolve the home from the inside out?  The structure over the marriage was covered with plaster, a perfectly placid facade that hid the underlying infection.  The dry rot, in the form of lies and deceptions, ate away at the very foundation of the marriage, creating vacuums where once had stood strong supports.  The damage grew, showing no symptoms, until one day catastrophic failure occurred and the entire structure collapsed.  If the infection had been visible, perhaps it could have been treated before it led to the ruin of the home.  But, he worked hard to keep it hidden, distracting me with new paint and wall coverings that hid the extensive damage. I thought my marriage was a beautiful home.  It turned out to be nothing but a pile of sawdust.

Sawmill sawdust pile pembroke

I am determined to not let dry rot erode my relationship now.  The structure is more visible; there are no elaborate decorations hiding the bare bones beneath.  We keep an eye out for potential sources of moisture that could initiate the dry rot process and we work to eradicate the dampness before it spreads.  We seek out areas of weakness in the joists and work together to build braces to enhance their integrity.  There are no promises that I will not face a collapsing house again, but this time, I refuse to live in a home unaware that it is being destroyed from within.  This time, I want a relationship that stands.

Building a house in Thailand from concrete, ma...

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4 thoughts on “Dry Rot

    1. I have to respectfully disagree. I think that when we have been hurt by love, it is all too easy to lay blanket blame on an entire gender or on the institution of marriage. Just as it is a fallacy to expect marriage to save a relationship, it is also an a leap to blame marriage for the disintegration of a relationship.

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