Anger. It is so easy to go there. To stay there.
Why did he do this to me? How could he have done these things? What a (fill in the blank with your favorite expletive)!
That anger is a succubus; she’ll draw you in, tempting you, and then slowly suck you dry, leaving you brittle while the object of the anger remains untouched. Anger leaves you in a victim state, powerless. It is only by releasing this anger that you can take your own reigns from the soul-sucking creature and chart your path.
Take yourself out of the object in the sentences above and make yourself the subject. What can I do to make my life better? What can I do now that these things have happened. Okay, so maybe the expletives can still stand. They certainly have their place, after all:) That shifts the power back to you.
Not that it is easy. I still slide back into anger when I have to deal with the financial fallout of my ex-husband’s years of manipulations and deceptions. Try staying calm when you are faced with paying the bill for the wedding rings used to marry another while you are still betrothed. Any luck? Yeah, me neither.
The anger has been the hardest to let go of, even more than sadness. However, I refuse to let that succubus feed off me any longer.
Here are some of my strategies for moving beyond anger.
What has helped you? Are you still angry?