how true, a fellow blogger recently left a comment on a post of mine (http://isinfidelitytheend.wordpress.com/2013/01/29/back-to-the-blog/) with one of the best definitions of forgiveness I have heard to date
“Forgiveness is simply giving up your right to retribution and/or vengeance” rarely have I agreed with a statement quite so much. Thanks to http://injuredxparty.wordpress.com/ for the comment by the way.
Don’t I know it… . For a hard-headed person like me, acceptance is the exact opposite of those things that run – or used to run – my world. But I agree on what you’re saying. *sigh*.
I need to make this my mantra. Forgiveness is scary for me, I’m scared that my husband will think what he did was okay. I love the difference between approval and acceptance. I don’t approve but really I have no choice but to accept it.
There is a huge difference between accepting what happened and excusing what happened. It takes time to sort out the distinctions, however. I hope the mantra helps:)
Yes, acceptance, not approval. A tough distinction to see when we are in pain. I for one was reluctant to give forgiveness feeling it was an endorsement for what they did. My internal dialogue told me that if I did, she would have got away with what she did… it would have invalidated my hurt… (and self-pity that was trying to prolong and multiply the genuine hurt). But acceptance is completely different. And extremely freeing!
I used to see it as an endorsement too. I felt like he had gotten away with everything and if I forgave him, I was only other entity not holding him responsible. Of course, that belief only shackled me to the past. I love the freedom in acceptance:)
Agreed. Except that I would say ‘acknowledgement’, rather than ‘acceptance’, because acceptance carries a hint of agreement with it, whereas to acknowledge is just to admit that it has happened. .
Interesting. I can see that connotation to acceptance. To me, “acknowledgement” has a bit of “yes, but” to it. Perhaps a blend of the two? But that would be difficult to spell:)
Lessons From the End of a Marriage 
how true, a fellow blogger recently left a comment on a post of mine (http://isinfidelitytheend.wordpress.com/2013/01/29/back-to-the-blog/) with one of the best definitions of forgiveness I have heard to date
“Forgiveness is simply giving up your right to retribution and/or vengeance” rarely have I agreed with a statement quite so much. Thanks to http://injuredxparty.wordpress.com/ for the comment by the way.
Love it:) Thanks for sharing!
…does that mean I can’t entertain dreams of retribution via slow and entertaining ways anymore? 🙂
Don’t I know it… . For a hard-headed person like me, acceptance is the exact opposite of those things that run – or used to run – my world. But I agree on what you’re saying. *sigh*.
Fellow hard-head here. Yup.
I need to make this my mantra. Forgiveness is scary for me, I’m scared that my husband will think what he did was okay. I love the difference between approval and acceptance. I don’t approve but really I have no choice but to accept it.
There is a huge difference between accepting what happened and excusing what happened. It takes time to sort out the distinctions, however. I hope the mantra helps:)
Very true. Thanks.
🙂
Yes, acceptance, not approval. A tough distinction to see when we are in pain. I for one was reluctant to give forgiveness feeling it was an endorsement for what they did. My internal dialogue told me that if I did, she would have got away with what she did… it would have invalidated my hurt… (and self-pity that was trying to prolong and multiply the genuine hurt). But acceptance is completely different. And extremely freeing!
I used to see it as an endorsement too. I felt like he had gotten away with everything and if I forgave him, I was only other entity not holding him responsible. Of course, that belief only shackled me to the past. I love the freedom in acceptance:)
Agreed. Except that I would say ‘acknowledgement’, rather than ‘acceptance’, because acceptance carries a hint of agreement with it, whereas to acknowledge is just to admit that it has happened. .
Interesting. I can see that connotation to acceptance. To me, “acknowledgement” has a bit of “yes, but” to it. Perhaps a blend of the two? But that would be difficult to spell:)
And the irony of it all is that here we are further down the track dealing with it and wondering what to call it, when they simply walked away.