phone

I’m old. My students remind me of that every day when they discuss current actors and musicians and I find myself asking, “Who?” As a result of my advanced age and general ignorance of pop culture, I have been largely unaware of Katy Perry. I know her for her bras – there was that one peppermint swirly thingy one and then something about one being too risqué for Sesame Street. I am sure that I would recognize some of her hits, yet I cannot name a single title. I could only pick her out of a lineup if she was wearing the above-mentioned peppermint (flavored?) bra.

English: Katy Perry at MTV Video Music Awards 2011. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So imagine my shock this morning when the headlines announced that Katy and I are twins in a way. It turns out that her ex husband, Russell Brand, dumped her via text as well and she has not heard from him since. Wow. Sometimes I really do wonder if there is some secret, black market how-to book out there that these people follow (Slimeball For Dummies?).

It’s weird. I never expected to feel a kinship with Katie. After all, she’s 7 years my junior, can sing and has cleavage.

But upon reading that story this morning, I now feel a bond with Katy. I can imagine the shock she felt as she innocently picked up her phone upon the tone that announced an incoming text and read the words from her husband that indicated the end. I can picture her hand trembling as she read and reread the message, trying to gain some understanding of the incomprehensible. I can imagine the panicked thoughts and perhaps messages as she tried to reach out to him and assure herself that it was just some terrible misunderstanding. I can empathize with the growing horror she may have felt as the minutes, hours and then days passed with no further contact. I can sympathize with the anger that seeped in as she realizes that he stole her voice when he chose to exit without allowing for the dignity of a conversation. I can imagine the difficulties she may have finding closure from a marriage that ended in a tsunami.

So, Katy, here’s a great big internet hug for you. I am sorry that I don’t know you as an artist but I now feel like I know you as a woman.

The Day the Marriage Died

When Is a Phone More Than a Phone?

I am sorry to be such a coward leaving you this way but I am leaving you and I am leaving the state.

That is the text I received on the above phone in July of 2009. Until today, it has remained my phone. Every time I’ve used it, the feeling of its curved case in my hands is a visceral reminder of the several days I spent grasping its cold body after receiving the text. That phone, the deliverer of the death sentence of my marriage, was the only possible connection I had to my former life. It was my executioner and my security blanket in one. It has overstayed its welcome in my life. As of today, it is retired from its duties.

I was nervous about the process of opening a new account; I still never know what will come up from my past. It was comforting to have a gentle salesperson who had also dealt with an ex’s financial betrayal. The look on her face told me she didn’t judge me and she understood.

My new phone is so much more than a phone. It already contains an image of my current beau and I after we completed a tough race (Tough Mudder, to be exact). It symbolizes freedom and connection with new technology (you can see that my old phone wasn’t exactly cutting edge!). It will allow me to more effciently pursue some of my projects and dreams. Most importantly, at least to me, is the fact that it stores no memories, its shape is virgin to my hand.

Today I have severed an important connection to my past. The phone that signaled the end of one life has been replaced by one that symbolizes the start of a new.

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