Do you ever feel as though you are stuck in an endless loop, replaying your past a la Groundhog Day, in your mind? It is all too easy to become stuck on a mental Möbius strip, an endless loop with only side. In this pattern, you are revisiting the past, perhaps assigning blame or experiencing guilt, but achieving no outcomes, no benefits. We play the “what if” game as if we are living within a choose your own adventure novel where we can simply go back and choose another path to follow.
How do we get off the never-ending ride of the Möbius mind? The first step is to recognize that you are stuck on an endless feedback loop, acknowledge your mental playback. Next, look at your patterns; where are you focusing? What triggers your thoughts? What events are central to this repeat performance? The reason this replays in your mind is that you have not yet gone deep enough into your feelings surrounding the event. You have not learned the lessons central to the story, so your mind is replaying it again and again hoping that the repetition will allow you to learn. Yes, the mind is a relentless teacher.
Go where it is uncomfortable. Acknowledge your responsibility. Your pain. Your shame. Your anger. Your fear. Learn from it. And then let it go. When you face the emotions triggered by the past head-on and then release them, you will find that your Möbius strip unravels and allows you to move on and continue your adventure.
Lessons From the End of a Marriage 