Share Your Successes

Posted on by stilllearning2b

In many ways, 2017 has been a rough year for me. I lost my best buddy, Tiger, years before his time. I’ve had a challenging time finding balance with work, especially when I expected year two to be less overwhelming. As a result of my work schedule, I’ve felt a strange mix of over-extended for an introvert and yet also lonely, as I haven’t had time to connect enough with friends.  I’ve had several people close to me experience challenging times, major crises and unimaginable loss. I’ve both grieved with them and hurt for them. I reached a milestone birthday (forty) and even though the age doesn’t bother me, my body will no longer accept the same amount of training I have done in the past.

But of course, that’s not the whole story.

There have been successes alongside the harder times. My husband and I have grown stronger together and we leaned on each other through our grief over Tiger. I’ve been honored to be recognized as a teacher of the year and the top contributor for DivorceForce. I was able to go on a trip I’d dreamed about for twenty years and meet up with a friend I hadn’t seen in twenty years for another trip. I’ve made new friends (no easy task for an overworked introvert). I reached my summer goal of writing a second book and I feel good about its message. I continue to do better with staying mindful and less anxious. And I’m ending the year experiencing success with the selection of and training a new puppy.

And that’s how life goes.

The downs follow the ups and the summits don’t last forever. The triumphs blend through the struggles like the veins in a slab of granite. And the good times sometimes turn out to be bad and upon further reflection, the bad is sometimes revealed to be good.

So as we close out this year that’s been both awful and excellent, I ask for you to take a moment and share your successes here. Maybe it’s something you’ve survived that you believed you couldn’t. Maybe you’ve made progress towards a goal. Or perhaps you’ve done something that has helped to improve the life of another. No matter how small in number or scale, no matter how much this year may have sucked for you, you HAVE achieved something.

Share it. Celebrate it.

End this year on a positive and hopeful note.

Maybe, just maybe, the best is yet to come.

The Problem With, “I Can’t Wait For It To Be Over”

Posted on by stilllearning2b

“December 31st can’t get here soon enough!”

“2016 just needs to end already!”

“I can’t wait for this year to be over!”

I’m reading and hearing these refrains on an ever-increasing basis. And sometimes I even find myself agreeing. At least in the moment.

But then, I think about other times I’ve felt that way – waiting for my divorce to be finalized, waiting for a particularly tedious plane trip to end or waiting for a difficult school year to wrap.

And I change my mind about wanting to hurry up and get 2016 over with.

When we focus on the end, we neglect to be in the present.

When we label something as “bad,” we have tendency to overlook the good. Whatever you nurture, grows.

When we assign happiness and success to external things, we neglect to make the internal changes needed to do better once the external circumstances change.

Like any other year (or any other thing at all), 2016 has had both good and not-so-good times. It’s not the worst, it’s not the best. It’s a Jackson Pollock of them both. Stand too close and all you see are the individual spots of joy and suffering. But stand back and take it all in and you see the bigger picture. It’s best to spend time at both vantage points.

As we enter the final hours of 2016…

Take time to remember and be grateful for the beautiful moments the year had to offer. And think about how you can cultivate those in the months to come.

Be present and mindful in these final hours of the year. Practice letting go of expectations and nurturing acceptance.

Refrain from assigning any magical powers to a new number. If you want different, be different.