We’ll Get Through This Together

get through

There are many words that feel amazing to receive:

 

“I love you.”

“I’m proud of you.”

“You are amazing.”

“I appreciate you.”

 

There are times those are the words we need to hear. They let us know that we’re seen, accepted, valued and cared for. These words are the valuable currency of relationships that both build bonds and and help to provide reinforcement against outside assaults.

Yet there is a phrase that can be even more powerful. One that often follows on the heels of difficult news – a death, a diagnosis, a loss, a revelation of a closely held secret. And in those moments, when we’re feeling skinned and bare, shivering in naked fear and uncertainty, the best words we can hear are –

 

“We’ll get through this together.”

 

Those words don’t minimize or project meaningless platitudes. They fall short of promising an optimistic outcome yet they still carry the scent of hope. Instead, the phrase suggests that now will not be always and there is a way through, even if it is not yet known.

And most importantly, those simple words reassure you that you’re not alone. They speak of shoulders ready to accept tears and strong arms prepared to render assistance. With that utterance, you know that you have a safe space where you can break down without concern for appearances or consequences.

It’s amazing how powerful a simple hand can be when it folds over yours during life’s most difficult moments. Sometimes, just having someone there makes the difference between giving up and getting up. The presence of another both gives us a reason to try and the encouragement to try again.

“We’ll get through this together.”

 

Powerful words to hear. And even more powerful words to believe. We are not meant to face these hardships on our own. We’re in this life together. And we’ll make it through together.

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5 thoughts on “We’ll Get Through This Together

  1. Hi– I follow your emails and I find them helpful and encouraging. Its been 1.5 years since my marriage was over. She left me for my good friend. While lately I find time has been helping, I have such bad moments that make me feel like no time has passed. This morning brushing my teeth, I felt so horrible I broke down. Alone in my new apartment, not surrounded by my kids anymore, only seeing them occasionally, my son hates being “shipped” back and forth. He is 11 and says “why did you guys have to break up?” I miss my wife., I hate that I still love her. I hate she felt she had no choice but to leave me without talking to me about it. I had no idea things were that bad for her. That she feels so close to my former friend. I made vows to her and I hurt her. I am lonely and feel I have screwed up my life.
    I am dating a wonderful, beautiful woman who cares for me and I like her but the memories of my ex wife and family (after 22 years of being with her) are so strong still.
    The constant communication because we have two kids together makes it impossible for me to truly move on – then seeing them happy in a big house, living with my kids full time , kills me still every time I pick up and drop off my kids.

    Feeling hopeless.

    1. I totally understand what you are saying, Steven. My husband suffered from depression and went to Sierra-Tucson out in AZ and met someone there. He knew her 10 days and left our marriage of 28 years, our business (he started it), and the town he was born and raised in. He is not still with her, but he’s been with a series of women. He used the “I don’t love you, I’ve never loved you” line, blah-blah. It’s only been 3 years for me, but I went to a therapist for 2.5 years. It was expensive, but really helped me. I am seeing a very sweet man, but am still grieving what was always to me a happy marriage (with three lovely children). I think time helps to dull the pain, but it will likely be a scar on our hearts forever when this happens. It helps to reframe what happened (I’m still working on it and give yourself more time to do this, as 1.5 years is too soon!) and look at life like the next part can be filled with companionship, good health, love and adventure. It’s your relationships and friendships with others than can entice you. Believe me, it may sound pie in the sky right now, but trust that the future can be happy for you. Best wishes to you!

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