One of the unexpected gifts that I gained with a tsunami divorce is that I didn’t have my ex around to target. I mean, sure I blamed him, but that only took me so far and eventually I had to focus on what I could impact – myself. I’ve carried that perspective into my new marriage; when something in the relationship needs tweaking, I adjust myself rather than looking to change my partner.
This article on Psychology Today presents some great ways to shift your focus in a way that can help you improve, whether you’re in a relationship or in the fallout of a relationship. Because the best part of accepting your responsibility is that you have the power to change it.
11 thoughts on “It’s Not You, It’s Me”
Awesome post. Thanks for sharing… and I love that term, “tsunami divorce”. Perfect term for a terrible storm in our lives.
Only words that captures it.
Yes! Perfect term, I’m going through a tsunami right now myself, and couldn’t describe it any better than that!!
It was the only word that seemed to capture the feelings and the destruction. Have you read my posts about tsunami divorces?
No, not yet, didn’t think to search the term, but I will! Brilliant description!
Here’s the link to the one on HuffPo http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-arends/tsunami-divorce_b_1571092.html
Beautifully written, I like the last line a lot!
Reblogged this on Just Shad…like shadow, without the OH and commented:
Perfect term for it!
Best advice! You can’t change your partner, sometimes you have to change how you react to them.
Absolutely. I use that same idea in the classroom too!