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I Used to Judge

10 Responses

  1. Amanda says:

    The say the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t. You can feel the build-up begin. It is like a sudden change in cabin pressure. You can prepare yourself.

    The threat if physical abuse left the minute we separated, but I had no idea what was yet to come. Apparently, he was just getting warmed up. The devil I don’t know is mentally, emotionally and legally sucker punching at will. I had no idea. If I had a crystal ball I’m not sure I would have gotten that PFA and had him removed from the home. The bruises fade. The hits, they were nothing compared to this. This is the devil I don’t know and because of our children (collateral damage) I am still being held hostage.

  2. Not Thatex says:

    Right there with you, Amanda. That “amicable” divorce he insisted he wanted has turned into the battle of a life time. When it started, I was sad that my marriage was ending but I did not hate him. I wish I could still say that, 5 years later.

  3. tywood12 says:

    Reblogged this on My New Life.

  4. Thank you for this post, it speaks the truth and hits the nail on the head when it comes to solving the problem of domestic abuse. I too used to judge, not that i meant to be uncaring but I could not understand why women stayed. I was far to self sufficient, far too independent to ever be in an abusive relationship. I made sure I wasn’t reliant on a man, I didn’t take crap from any man, and when I decided it was over, I walked.
    So when at 42 I met my soul mate, a man who loved me for me and told me to never change, that he had thought he had been in love before, until he met me, the man who cried the first time he said he loved me, the most even tempered man I had ever met; I thanked God for my good fortune.
    Ten years later; he destroyed my business by sabotaging my work truck, (thus making it impossible for me to work, have money and leave), destroying every single possession of mine (by accident) discovering he was living with 3 women while he was a long haul trucker, he impregnated a young girl while away on a missionary trip to Africa, and after he had gone from the man who gave CPR to gold fish to the man who sucker punched me knocking me out, screaming in my face that I was an ungrateful bitch and a real man would have hit me a lot sooner…………….. I left. A shell of the confident woman I once was
    I vowed that if I survived I would spend the rest of my life raising awareness about domestic abuse.
    A punch to the head never hurt as bad as the mental and emotional abuse and any physical wounds healed long ago, but there are scars inside that have taken 4 years to heal.
    No one teaches us that there are people in the world, psychopaths, who are born without a conscience, thus have no remorse or empathy and will do anything to get what they want, leaving a trail of destruction and broken (or dead) ex’s in their wake. I could not grasp that the man I loved was capable of cutting my brake line, stealing from me, who are pathological liars who actually feed off of people’s pain.
    Just because you were not hit, you were in an abusive relationship. So many women (and men) don’t even know they are being abused, they think they are going crazy. By the time the physical abuse starts they are in so deep they can’t claw their way out,
    I ended up leaving finally, with $5 and my dog in a truck that was barely running; homeless and alone.
    Four years out and I am standing proud and strong again, victims of abuse are very strong women; only a strong woman could endure it.
    You are a shining example of a strong woman who has put her life back together, I am a glowing example of “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. I have no regrets because everything I have been through brought me here and I have found serenity and peace I never thought possible.
    Sorry for the length of my comment. You touched a soft spot.

  5. Such an important message. Thanks for sharing this.

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