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Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A “How to Thrive” Guide After Divorce

8 Things I Wish I Had Known During Divorce

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Experience is quite a teacher, isn’t she? No matter how many books we read or how many pieces of advice we receive, there are certain matters you only truly understand after you have lived through them.

And, for roughly half of us, that life experience includes divorce.

The following are the lessons from divorce that I wish I had known before living it:

1) There is nothing that the courts can do to make it okay.

During the legal proceedings, I was obsessed with finding justice. I wanted consequences for his actions and validation of my innocence. I spent countless hours and even more countless dollars assembling a case. It worked. On paper, at least. But the reality was disappointing. The ordered payments never came and the impact of the words on the decree lessened every day. Family courts are just not set up to punish individual misdeeds; they punish the entire class. Justice doesn’t come from the gavel. It comes from proceeding with integrity and living the best life you can. It’s not up to courts to make it okay. It’s up to you.

Read the other 7 lessons I wish I had known during divorce. 

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10 thoughts on “8 Things I Wish I Had Known During Divorce

  1. Another that I learned is the dishonest will not suddenly become honest just because of an oath to tell the truth.

  2. I agree with 2 – you are the most surprised when you discover you can face the pain and survive. I remember a friend of mine, who had already gone through a divorce, playing the song, “I Will Survive” to me. At the beginning I looked at her with doubt but by the end we were singing together at the top of our lungs – and I did feel better.

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