8 Things I Wish I Had Known During Divorce

wish I had known

Experience is quite a teacher, isn’t she? No matter how many books we read or how many pieces of advice we receive, there are certain matters you only truly understand after you have lived through them.

And, for roughly half of us, that life experience includes divorce.

The following are the lessons from divorce that I wish I had known before living it:

1) There is nothing that the courts can do to make it okay.

During the legal proceedings, I was obsessed with finding justice. I wanted consequences for his actions and validation of my innocence. I spent countless hours and even more countless dollars assembling a case. It worked. On paper, at least. But the reality was disappointing. The ordered payments never came and the impact of the words on the decree lessened every day. Family courts are just not set up to punish individual misdeeds; they punish the entire class. Justice doesn’t come from the gavel. It comes from proceeding with integrity and living the best life you can. It’s not up to courts to make it okay. It’s up to you.

Read the other 7 lessons I wish I had known during divorce. 

Thank you for sharing!

10 thoughts on “8 Things I Wish I Had Known During Divorce

  1. AddieMarie – Florida, USA – I have been chronically ill for over 12 years, and probably my entire life. I have recently been diagnosed with chronic neurological lyne disease, as well as bartonella, mold toxicity, POTS, adrenal fatigue and possible damage to my pituitary gland. Before that my diagnosis's included fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, degenerative disk disease, psoriatic arthritis, hypothyroidism, costocondritis, asthma, unexplained tachycardia, unexplained regurg in 2 heart valves, IBS, chronic infections, chronic migraines with aura, anxiety, panic disorder and bipolar disorder, plus more I probably forget right now. While I accept that I am chronically ill, and it is a part of who I am...I refuse to accept that I am doomed to lose my life to these diseases. I refuse to accept that I have to sacrifice my happiness and quality of life just because I am ill. So I am constantly working to feel better!
    AddieMarie says:

    I LOVE #8!

    1. AddieMarie – Florida, USA – I have been chronically ill for over 12 years, and probably my entire life. I have recently been diagnosed with chronic neurological lyne disease, as well as bartonella, mold toxicity, POTS, adrenal fatigue and possible damage to my pituitary gland. Before that my diagnosis's included fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, degenerative disk disease, psoriatic arthritis, hypothyroidism, costocondritis, asthma, unexplained tachycardia, unexplained regurg in 2 heart valves, IBS, chronic infections, chronic migraines with aura, anxiety, panic disorder and bipolar disorder, plus more I probably forget right now. While I accept that I am chronically ill, and it is a part of who I am...I refuse to accept that I am doomed to lose my life to these diseases. I refuse to accept that I have to sacrifice my happiness and quality of life just because I am ill. So I am constantly working to feel better!
      AddieMarie says:

      And all of them really!

  2. Another that I learned is the dishonest will not suddenly become honest just because of an oath to tell the truth.

  3. I agree with 2 – you are the most surprised when you discover you can face the pain and survive. I remember a friend of mine, who had already gone through a divorce, playing the song, “I Will Survive” to me. At the beginning I looked at her with doubt but by the end we were singing together at the top of our lungs – and I did feel better.

Leave a ReplyCancel reply