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Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A “How to Thrive” Guide After Divorce

Ten Lessons I am Still Learning

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I took a break from the work of moving this past Sunday morning to sit on my new screened in porch with Tiger, both of us enjoying the view and the serenity (although I think he appreciated the squirrels more than I). Being able to take that break when there was so much to do was progress for me, a sign that I am indeed still learning. It prompted me to dust off this oldie but goodie from the archives – Ten Lessons I Am Still Learning. It’s funny when I look at this list now – I have downhill skied, learned how to relax more and even fallen in love with stretching in the form of yoga. I’m straddling two homes at the moments, both with extremely cluttered kitchens (and other rooms!). It’s a sign that we are always evolving and changing. I guess I need to come up with some new lessons soon:)

Ten Lessons I Am Still Learning (originally published winter of 2012)

One of the things I love most about my partner is that he sees himself as a perpetual student; he is always willing and eager to learn something new, even in an area where he is considered an expert.

Last year, we were out at dinner with a group of friends.  One of our friend’s 8 year son opened the conversation with my boyfriend (now soon to be husband!).

“Do you have a black belt?” the boy asked eagerly.

“I do,” came the reply.

“Actually, he has several,” interjected the boy’s dad.

“Wow!  Does that mean you know everything?”

“Actually, a black belt means that you are ready to begin learning.”

I loved that response.  It serves as a reminder to me to always be open to learning more, especially in those areas where I already have knowledge.

In that spirit, here are ten lessons that I am still learning:

1) Life doesn’t just have two speeds – on and off.  It is not only possible to go slowly, but sometimes it is preferable.

2) It is okay not to be the first one at work; stuff still manages to get done even if I arrive after the custodians.

3) I’m working on learning to sleep past 6:00 am and considering the possibility of mastering the power nap.

4)  A messy kitchen does not mean a chaotic life.  It just means that people actually live in our house.

5) Sometimes it is okay for the play to come before the work.  (I got this one from my dog)

6) I am still working on going downhill on wheels (bikes, skates, etc.).  I just don’t  trust those things!

7) Stretching is worthwhile exercise even if is doesn’t work up a sweat.

8) It is okay to relax.

9) Money will be there; I don’t need to get too stressed about it.

10) Always take time to appreciate what you have and remember to express your gratitude.  Especially when the kitchen is messy.

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13 thoughts on “Ten Lessons I am Still Learning

  1. Congrats on the move! My move went well and my kids LOVE my new house and the fact that I’m 10 mins. away from them now. 🙂 They’re coming over for dinner tonight… Can’t wait!

          1. You are VERY busy then, I’m sure. I got moved in pretty quickly, but then again, I didn’t bring much stuff. 🙂 Good luck and get some rest! 🙂

            1. What is this rest thing you speak of? 🙂 It’s wild how good stress is still stress… Happy and yes, tired. There’s a reason I’ve been recycling posts lately. Looking forward to getting back to writing more soon!

              1. I hear ya about the rest. I’m finally sleeping well in the new house. Took me about a week to get used to waking up in a new place. 🙂 And yes, HAPPY stress is STILL stress.

                Hope you can get back to writing soon. I’m penning a new post as I type this…

  2. Martial arts mind commenting here… Brock was soooo right about a black belt being the point where one begins learning. I learned more in the 2 years between my 1st & 2nd than at at any other point in my life (accept the few months when my ex and I brought daughter #1 home. Oy!).

    As for the 10 lessons… I’ve got a long way to go.

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