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Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A “How to Thrive” Guide After Divorce

Getting Over Him

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The photos of my ex-husband are not on my walls. Nor are they in albums on my shelves or in files on my computer. The pictures I have of him and the life we shared are contained safely within a sealed box that resides in my mother’s attic halfway across the country. I do not want to gaze upon them or interact with them in any way but nor do I want to dispose of them completely.

My ex’s place in my mind is similar to that of his pictures. He is there, but he is tucked securely away. He is not at the forefront of my thoughts. I do not want to gaze upon him or interact with him in any way but nor do I want to attempt to erase him completely.

Read the rest on The Huffington Post.

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11 thoughts on “Getting Over Him

  1. Lisa,

    You’re really good at this.

    Thank you for providing more healthy ways to think about the healing process.

    It’s funny. It’s so easy to tell people you’re over it, and it doesn’t matter, and then life keeps reminding you that you’re not over it and that it does, in fact, matter.

    Thank you for reminding me that that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

    I really enjoy, and benefit from, your writing. Thank you very much.

  2. A friend of mine went through a divorce years ago. He packed up all of the wedding photos, ring, momentos and put them in a box at his parent’s house too. Then one day his parents were moving and asked what they should do with the box and he realized he didn’t need or want it anymore. He was ready to let it go.

  3. In the beginning I did not know where to put the love that I had felt for him and, like you, it disappeared in the instant of his announcement to me. “I do not love him but I remember loving him” is a great way to move forward on this.

    1. It was the only way I could think of to express the distinction between the feelings and the memories. To me, getting over means releasing the feelings but not necessarily the memories.

  4. I am only eighteen. I have not been married, nor have I even experienced a relationships that was so serious that I truly fell in love. I enjoy your blog so much because it masks the feelings that I have now, only being a young adult. It sets a good example for me and really gives me hope that moving on is real. I am young and inexperienced, but your blog gives me real examples so that I can make the right life decisions. So, thank you and keep writing 🙂

  5. Glad to see that you are still around, and blogging more successfully than ever. It has been a long journey for you, and it seems the end is still far off. Regards from England, Pete.

      1. Sorry STL, I meant the end of you dealing with the marriage stuff- not your life! You have many years yet, a lot more than me, I expect. Your English friend, Pete.

  6. Years after the end of a bad relationship I was asked if there was still a space for them in my life, the only answer I could think of was this…. Yes, there is space for you in my life. In the past where you belong.

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