I Have a Crush

I first caught a glimpse of him online last night. The description was brief, but the pictures drew me in instantly.

I was hooked.

I dreamed of him last night, imaging the future we could have together. Picturing our lives intertwined. When I awoke this morning, he was still on my mind, even though I was trying to suppress the thoughts. Giving in, I finally decided we needed to meet in person. Immediately.

I made the short drive to his residence. I gasped when I pulled into the driveway. He was even better looking in person that he was in pictures. I was smitten.

My crush in “person” 🙂 He obviously needs a haircut!

That’s right. I have a crush on a house.

Like any crush, my mind is awash in romantic notions. Spinning possibilities out of mere suggestions. I am obsessed, overtaken with passions of paint colors and potential plantings.

Like any crush, my dreams will likely be dashed since there is scant anchor in reality.

Brock and have been rational in our quest for a home. We have registered with hatch My House so that our wedding gifts can build our down payment. We plan to move this fall after the wedding and when our lease has expired. With the assistance of a friend in the real estate business, we started casually perusing homes in the area we live and love. We frequently email postings back and forth and engage in dialog about the potential perks and liabilities of each property. We’ve known that these homes are only hypotheticals; they will be long gone by the time we are prepared to buy. And that’s been okay.

And then we saw this one.

On digital paper, it’s perfect. A foreclosure, priced to sell. Ugly on the inside, but just needing some TLC to make it beautiful. It has the spaces we need and the amenities we want. It’s difficult not to fall and fall hard.

I visited today, exploring the yard and peering in the windows. I could so easily see us in that space. I was already arranging furniture and repainting walls. I could almost hear the clacks of the sticks from the spot where Brock would teach his private martial arts lessons. I stood in the spot where I would put a hammock and gazed out at the yard that I so desperately want. I felt the ache of my nomadic existence the past four years fade as I let the home’s energy wash over me.


I know better than to do this. I know I’m getting excited just to have my heart broken. I know it’s just a house and should not be an emotional investment. I know that it makes sense to wait until we have more money to put down and our lease is officially over.

But damn. I’m crushing hard.

Tomorrow, we make the formal introductions. Our realtor friend is meeting us there to show us the inside. A part of me hopes that the home has some fatal flaw on the inside. Something that will crush the crush.

But another part of me wants it to remain perfect.

Brock and I have talked strategy. Figured out a possible juggling act that would allow us to purchase earlier than we anticipated. It’s not ideal and it’s a little scary but it just might work. Of course, we may not be the only ones flirting with our intended. There may be competition better looking and more prepared for an immediate relationship.

But still.

It’s hard not to get excited about the thought that our crush might just maybe, possibly like us back.


Thank you for sharing!

9 thoughts on “I Have a Crush

  1. gemmautting – A licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, I specialize in pre-marital preparation and relationship repair. A committed, long-term relationship is going to call you into places of deep personal awareness and growth like nothing else can. Learning how to allow this, how to respond without defensiveness and how to gracefully expand into the best possible version of yourself - whether before you say "I do" - is my joy and life's work.
    gemmautting says:

    Yahooo… I totally “get” this. You can do it!
    One time I fell hard for a run-down, been-around-the-block-once-too-often hulk of a crush. Wicked high price. We’d be in re-hab together for months. My husband wasn’t too keen though, he admits, he saw it coming.
    But wait. This gentle hulk was on the beach in Sayulita, Mexico (back in 1999). We could never legally marry (foreigners can’t own beachfront in Mexico). But (it’s one hell of a tale) the dream took hold; we created some sort of pre-nup and lovingly undertook some intensive personal and physical overhauling both from a distance, and then when we moved in together. The five of us. My “crush”, my husband, two kids and Stella the-Beach-Bum (lab). T’was THE most fun affair we’ve ever had. Dreams do come true!

  2. It happened to me. I was just looking and promised myself I would NOT fall in love. I had a one-year + plan, which came tumbling down and within four months new papers were signed and a new house to my name.

  3. I can understand about houses. I love them older the better. We bought a house in WV. It was one level, three and half acres. Secluded,Loved it, bought and was going to retires there. Then one day in January 2011, he found a whore and left. I LOVED!!!! that house. Just sold it two days ago, forty thousand loss. I cried for days, didn’t want to sell. It was the perfect, most wonderful place. Will never see another like it. If you really love this house, GO FOR IT!!! Good luck and God bless!

    1. So sorry to hear that. I know the pain of a lost house. I had to release the one I had in my first marriage. We were there for 10 years and remodeled the whole thing ourselves. I spent countless hours in the garden, creating a woodland escape. It was hard to let it go. I am just now able to even think about falling in love with another house.

    1. Too funny! Brock’s been trying to convince me to get another dog:) The house needs to come first! I can’t even imagine the craziness of wedding, moving and new pup all at once…

      I hope the universe is listening:)

  4. There’s not a day that goes by on my ride into work where I pass houses for sale, thinking “that house would be perfect.” I want my own house. I know it’s YEARS off in the distance, but the passion to do this on my own in burning inside of me and I know I will one day have a roof over my head I can call MINE…. Where me and my kids can live. Away from HER…

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