5 Things You Don’t Understand About Divorce Until You’ve Lived Through It

You think you know, but you have no idea. This is really one of those situations were you had to have been there. Here are five things you only learn about divorce once you’ve lived through it? Do you have any to add?

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9 thoughts on “5 Things You Don’t Understand About Divorce Until You’ve Lived Through It

  1. I went into the process thinking the Court of Family Law would be fair in looking at the facts. Unfortunately lies are not challenged as long as the lier continues to fight. At some point you need to accept that the legal process is not fair unless you are infinitely wealthy and don’t mind giving a lot of money to your attorney. At some point you will have to accept the lies and cut your financial losses.

    1. I agree and am thoroughly overwhelmed and disappointed. I have very little strength left to fight and my attorney won’t return my calls because I can’t pay anymore but he can. But to accept this, which I can do, I have to give up everything…including my kids. Is this what I have to do because he’s a bully?

  2. #5 hit home with me for the obvious reason — I’m in the midst right now. It feels like I am stuck in the middle of an enormous, deep pool with no other choice but to tread water. Eventually, I will make to the edge, climb out, shake out my tired limbs, and move on. Daily, I thank God for the strength to keep on treading. Most days I keep my head above water.

  3. I agree. Divorce is something you won’t understand without going through it. And unfortunately, the Family Court system is very much NOT working with the best interest of the child as their primary goal. Rather, their goal is to push couples through the court in the most expedient way possible, to allow them to get to the next couple they are trying to shove through the system. The biggest issue though, is that the judges and attorneys have very little understanding of Cluster B personality disorders–and nearly every case that ends up in the Court system has one partner who is a ‘high conflict individual’–one who struggles with a (likely undiagnosed) Cluster B personality disorder. These are the people who create chaos but are uncannily charming towards judges–charismatic and seemingly convincing, but typically covering up their true selves. Because the other partner is often trying valiantly to protect the children (and are often scared) the judges often misread what’s happening and believe it is this partner who is the problem.

  4. This is such a great post and so true. Thanks for sharing. I wish we didn’t have so much in common, but it helps to be inspired by someone who has walked this path as well.

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