What Makes a Marriage Successful? (And Why Divorce Does Not Mean Failure)

17 Responses

  1. Mary Lou says:

    Great Post!! I’m blown away by what was said here! I hope to re-blog this on my blog. Thanks!

  2. Kay says:

    Thanks for your words of wisdom. This is just what I needed to hear today!

  3. divorceat25 says:

    This is a difficult article to read. I was happy in my marriage, although I don’t think I could be happy again doing the same things (even just a few months later, I have a better idea of my worth and my needs). I don’t know why my husband cheated or why he suddenly couldn’t do this anymore. I don’t understand how someone who seemed happy and says he loves me can just walk away. I try to move forward with just the good memories and the lessons. Although the good memories right now just make it harder, because they make me understand less. How can someone have so many good memories and love so deeply and the other person cheats and runs away? I probably just need more distance from this overwhelming pain.

    • I think you’re exactly right. In the beginning, the pain is completely overwhelming and is all you can see. The questions of “why” and “how” are all-consuming. In time, as the pain becomes duller and the answers to the questions no longer seem important, you’ll be able to sift through the debris to find the take-aways. Hugs, Lisa.

  4. tywood12 says:

    Reblogged this on My New Life.

  5. Patrick says:

    Words of wisdom on divorce. I have learned not to judge another about a marriage that ended in a dissolution. It takes two to make a marriage work. I now see that if one gives up working on the marriage, it is best to accept the the result and move on. Life is too short.

  6. Deb says:

    Excellent post. Even three years out from my then husband announcing it was over (during a cruise – kind of tough to find space when you’re sharing a tiny room!), I’m still learning from you, Lisa.

  7. Michelle says:

    So many good things you have written in this post that I needed to read and be reminded of. Being the one that decided to pull the plug on our my marriage I tend to feel guilty about it at times even though it was certainly the right thing to do. I agree that as long as something was learned, it was successful. Thanks so much for a great post!

  8. kayjcee2014 says:

    Thank you for sharing this. I have been struggling with that feeling of walking around with that big F for Failure on my chest. As if that is the only way people see me. It is taking a conscious effort to see me not as that, but as a survivor, an encourager, a mom and a friend.

  9. Mary Lou says:

    Reblogged this on Me In the Middle and commented:
    Having gone through a divorce myself, I’ve often wondered why we look on staying married or getting a divorce as a defining success or failure in life.
    As I’ve learned more about the person I was married to, it became clear that divorce was a blessing for me.
    Some marriages that remain in tact can be abusive and the people inside them become “cell mates” instead of “soul mates”.
    Another blogger opened up this discussion with a great post and I’m sharing it with you. ~ Mary Lou ~

  10. Beautiful. I’m hooked – and that doesn’t happen often. 💪🥰

  1. March 10, 2019

    […] Related:  What Makes a Marriage Successful (and Why Divorce Does Not Mean Failure) […]

  2. April 12, 2019

    […] Wondering why I choose to put “failed” in quotes? It’s because I don’t see divorce as a failure. Learn why. […]

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