You would think I would know better by now.
But apparently I don’t.
Okay, so that’s not quite true.
I DO know better. I just choose to ignore what I know I should do so that I can instead do what I want to do.
Sometimes the risk pays off and the rewards are early and plentiful.
The risk leads to added work, stunted progress or even an early demise.
The official frost-free date for the Atlanta area is April 15. This means that, to be safe, nothing other than the hardiest of shrubs or perennials should be placed in the ground until that date.
And after emerging from the dark of winter, the middle of April feels a lifetime away. Added to that are the early blooms catcalling to me on every corner and the seduction of 80 degree days interspersed among the cold, damp days of early spring.
And so, like every other year I’ve had a plot of soil, I gave in. I spent all day Saturday turning this
But even though I will be hauling blankets and towels across my yard this weekend, I don’t regret my choice. Those early flowers are bringing joy now and with a little TLC over the next couple weeks, will become a permanent tapestry in the garden.
I had to laugh at myself this past weekend as I stubbornly and impatiently ignored the advice of the experts as I tucked the tender foliage into the cool soil. I was reminded of how I was after my ex left. When I stubbornly and impatiently ignored the advice of the experts as I dove headfirst into the dating world.
I was advised to wait until the divorce was final to begin dating. But that still-unknown date felt like a lifetime away. Besides, the marriage was dead and buried the day he left. I was counseled to wait until I was healed before fraternizing with other men. But even though I was making progress, healed as a finality still seemed an impossibility (and I also fully believe that some areas of healing can only happen within the context of a new relationship). Besides, I reasoned, I’m not looking for a relationship. Just some dates for some education and distraction. It was suggested that I start out slowly, testing the dating waters (and my own constitution) before going all-in.
I stubbornly and impatiently ignored all of that advice, signing up for Match and (over)filling my dating calendar.
It was a risk. I was still a tender plant not yet toughened to the harsh world outside the protection of the nursery. I could have faced stunted growth or even my destruction.
I wasn’t ignorant of these facts. But I chose to ignore them.
To heed the drive inside that demanded growth and blooms.
To feed the soul that craved some beauty in a life that had been reduced to rubbish.
To believe the hope that abundance would return and that roots would form again.
It wasn’t always an easy path. There were times I had to cover myself in blankets as I waited out a chill I was not yet strong enough to endure. I faced setbacks and challenges. But I do not regret my choice.
There are always those who advocate waiting to explore love again. There is often prudence to waiting. But it can also become a trap of never finding the perfect conditions.
You’re ready when the urge to grow becomes greater than the need to hibernate.
You’re ready when the potential of the rewards makes the risks seem bearable.
You’re ready when you can accept that the blooms may be temporary, but that you can enjoy them nonetheless.
And most importantly –
You’re ready when you’re ready. Not when some expert tells you that you should be.