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Outsourcing

8 Responses

  1. annieemmy says:

    Exactly what I needed today.

  2. bez says:

    It’s amazing that at this phase of my course I should come across your very appropriate and inherently wise post. It is eternally true that the healing should be conducted by oneself, even though it might at times appear impossible and a monumental task to perform. I was stuck for such a long time in the useless and ultimately unhelpful circle of the unfairness of it all and continually pondered how my wife could possibly elect to do what she has done to our family. Not good. It’s only now, that I realise my children and me are actually not the problem, it is her issues that have engulfed us in this desperate and eternally sad situation. And that it is what it is. A whale happily swimming along in obvious bliss, thinking all is in order, with the happy family in tow, and suddenly bang, harpooned and blindsided. As hard as it may feel at first, don’t get stuck in the whys and ifs and how’s. Move…..get angry….Look after yourself…The people that matter to you…..remove the harpoon….have direction…..focus…..and have the wisdom and courage to abandon the person that does not deserve your love……heal. And trust me, good things will happen.

  3. Nephila says:

    Couldn’t agree more! It’s insane how people tell you to “go get help” and “forgive for your own sake”…then most of those telling you that are cheaters themselves so it figures. This is slow stuff and there are no shortcuts. If you’re lucky you might feel normal-ish 5 or 6 years down the track. If you’re unlucky you might take a lifetime. That’s not on you. That’s on the people who did this. I actually think it’s pretty sad they can’t take guilt, that their victim’s seriously long term dealing with this is so uncomfortable for them they have to project it away by telling you to go (insert quick fix). It should bring them to their knees that it might take us a lifetime. A decent person would be gutted that something they did had such lasting effects. Instead they tell you to do x, or z and poof! You’ll be cured. No, you won’t. And that’s okay, it’s not our fault. The fact it takes so long is really a sign that the wound was that deep.

  4. Liv says:

    You’re so right. It has to come from within. If you’re not aware of and connected with it, you’ll never make it through.

  1. November 10, 2014

    […] It’s tempting to try to avoid the pain. But you can’t outsource healing; you have to do it yourself. […]

  2. July 28, 2016

    […] can’t outsource healing. You have to do it […]

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