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Mythical Thinking About Marriage

7 Responses

  1. Well said Lisa, but almost everything here is a double edge sword in the truest sense of the idea to me at least
    In my STBXW’s mind lack of “communication” pushed her to another man.It took me a year to really get over my mother’s death and work through the demons in my mind, if she would have hung in there a little longer I would not be where I am at today.

    Avoiding conflict is what I did a lot as I was always the one to compromise with almost everything to keep her happy, but conflict also can be dangerous as well.

    Scorecarding she did it all the time I didn’t but then again I was never one to keep track of slight or perceived hurts.

  2. DogDharma says:

    One of the harshest myths about marriage comes in the vow “for better, for worse.” This is healthy and ideal in a sound relationship. It’s what we strive for and what we desire, what we dream of, someone to walk beside us in good times and bad, and to return the same. But when one partner is of the psychopath ilk, the other partner suffers all manner of wrongs before realizing that some “worse” is just too much wrong to be endured. It keeps us hooked, waiting faithfully for things to get better when better never comes.

    • I for one have always taken the “for better or worse” part seriously and I still think it should be. Unfortunately it is not seen as “vow” in today’s world it is taken more as “for better or worse till I find someone else”
      Don’t get me wrong there are very valid reasons for a divorce such as being in an abusive marriage or adultery and a few more.
      But when it comes down to it too many people jump ship over the smallest misunderstandings and arguments.

      • DogDharma says:

        I agree 100%. I took the vow seriously and still do. It was my downfall, though, because my wife didn’t take it seriously — in fact, they were meaningless words to her. I don’t think the day will come when I’ll ever make those vows again, but if I do, I’ll mean them, and I’ll be darn sure before I make them that the person taking those vows with me is on the same page.

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