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Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A “How to Thrive” Guide After Divorce

My Story – Part 2

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Please watch Part 1 first:)

Thanks for the positive feedback on the first video. I thought it might give a more “human” feel to the story and I’m glad to see that that seems to be the case.

I want to address a couple points. First, I don’t consider myself brave. I just think there is a need for a public dialog about divorce and deception. This kind of situation is so much more common that we know (for both men and women) but many don’t talk about it because they feel ashamed or foolish. The only shame is in remaining silent and allowing this continue and for people to feel alone and unsupported.

I know there are those that wonder why I still write and talk about this now that I am happily remarried and have moved on. I talk about it because there are still those going through it. I talk about because I want to show the depths I came from and give hope to those still there. I talk about it to show that it’s okay to still feel sad sometimes and that our pasts are a part of us.

Those of that read me regularly know that I don’t spend much time talking about those first few awful weeks. That’s because it makes me hurt for the Lisa of five years ago. I wish I could tell her that it would be okay great and that she would have love and life again.

Without further ado, here’s part two:


And now on to Part 3!

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13 thoughts on “My Story – Part 2

  1. Amazing, I can so relate to wanting to understand. I am still in the middle of figuring out what my ex has done (regarding a property that was not separated in the divorce-big mistake) anyway I have found all kinds of stuff and when I emailed him…his response was that I should “use my detective skills on something more constructive” (my life savings depends on the proceeds from the sale of the property)
    Can’t wait to hear more of your story! Do you think he is/was capapable of killing someone or having someone killed?

    1. If you had asked me that while we were together, I would have said it was impossible. But after he left? I don’t know. The police all said that I was lucky to be alive, that most of these situations end in murder-suicide. I was scared enough of him that I tried to get a restraining order and the police did drive-bys where I was staying for several weeks.Scary.

  2. I appreciate all of your hard work and dedication to this blog. It has helped me pick myself up for the sake of my children to be a better mom for them. After almost three years of seperation/divorce I am starting a new legal battle with my ex. These types of men and situations like these are rampant in the legal system. The frustration for the person “holding the bag” per say is that the legal system is so flawed that it doesn’t hold these types of people accountable. And most often, it ocuts them breaks. I completely understand wanting the other party to be slapped with consequences but it rarely happens. I too yearned for this to happen to my ex but it has not. I have also found that their consequences occur with the little people that they deceived, children. I have also learned valuable lessons from my divorce and are now teaching my children about them. It is helping them to learn how to love themselves, protect themselves, create boundaries, taught them how to treat other people, and to be productive individuals in society. My hope is that my children will witness the different lifestyles and make healthy changes that will better their future but break the cycle of divorce for their children.

    You are an amazing woman that has found a calling for her life. It is an honor to be able to pay witness to it. I can’t Thank you enough for helping me through my healing process.

    1. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this and that your kids are having to learn these lessons at such at young age (I love that you’re using this as an opportunity to teach them though!). It is a sad truth that the civil courts are not designed to handle criminal behavior and that, in fact, the worst behaved often come off the best.

      I wish you luck with your upcoming court battle!

  3. he created an entire different person to be with her … YES! I feel like I am living a soap opera right now too, I’ve said that a lot lately. Today is {was?} our 15 year anniversary. Life feels very foreign to me right now, who is this person? My feelings are so mixed too, so many unanswered questions.

    1. So, so sorry you relate. I wish soap operas were limited to fiction on the screen. Those unanswered questions will most likely remain an enigma but I promise that you can learn to be okay with not knowing/understanding everything. Not easy, though. And certainly not a quick fix. It’s hard both letting go of the person you thought you were married to and at the same time accepting the reality of what is and what you cannot control. Sending you hugs and encouragement from the south.

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