Rewrapping Divorce As a Gift

This piece from two years ago is still one of my most popular and shared and has garnered some of the more interesting responses. It seemed appropriate to share it again.

I was asked to write this piece by an editor at The Huffington Post. I knew they wanted the salacious details. I also knew that I wanted to show that no matter how bad things are, you can can use them as a springboard to something better.


As we continue in the holiday season and many of you continue on in your divorce journeys, remember that we cannot always change our circumstances, but we can always change our attitude. And that may be the best gift you can give yourself.

Rewrapping Divorce As a Gift

My divorce certainly did not present itself as a gift, trussed up with a big red bow like a Lexus in a Christmas commercial. Instead, it was a big ugly box, filled to the brim with explosives. It was a present I never anticipated and one I never desired. But, as it came with a “no return” policy, I was determined to make the best of it.

I was with my husband for 16 years. Sixteen good years. Little did I know a tsunami was forming beneath the placid surface of our marriage. A tsunami that reached land one afternoon when I received the following text message:

“I am sorry to be such a coward leaving you this way but I am leaving you and leaving the state.”

The warning sirens never sounded.

Click here to read the rest.

Thank you for sharing!

7 thoughts on “Rewrapping Divorce As a Gift

  1. I remember the day I had to admit I was grateful he had left me. The truth was he had left me years before, but finally he gave me freedom which is the best gift of all and I love unwrapping it everyday.

    1. Same here…I can say..I’m a happier mother..woman and human. I covered my soul trying to save the traditional family with high cost. He left me and now…I can see the tremendous gift this was

  2. Let's CUT the Crap! – Canada – I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!
    Let's CUT the Crap! says:

    Never thought of as a gift, but a gift all the same. My divorce came through two weeks before Christmas (many, many years ago) and I was finally able to breath. Just my daughter and me and the Christmas tree. 🙂

  3. misst2elleh – My blog, my rules. This blog belongs to me, hence it is my therapy pad. If you do not like what I post please do not comment cause I do not care, if you do not appreciate what I post, please do not come back cause I honestly do not care. If you are cool then enjoy it...
    misst2elleh says:

    it’s not easy being left the way you were. But I agree regarding the gift notion. Freedom is a very very expensive gift and unwrapping it carefully the way you have is the best way to go. 🙂

  4. momfawn – Visalia, CA – I am a sixty-something baby-boomer -- daughter, mother, wife (twice), grandmother, aunt, Independent Consultant with Close To My Heart -- retired and celebrating a life thoroughly lived.
    momfawn says:

    Well said. Mine didn’t leave me…30 years into our relationship he cheated, confessed and repented and added to the hurt over and over. The best thing I ever did for both of us was to leave him three years ago, after trying for four years to make it all better – Fawn.

  5. Rebekah Miller – At the age of 27 my husband left me for another woman. I had been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease after my second miscarriage. "For better or worse" means "until you need help or can't give me what I want" in the eyes of some. The divorce left me $40,000 in debt. This is the anonymous journal of my life...The life of an "independent modern woman" with the sensibilities of a bygone era. A place where I can sort out my thoughts in peace (and for your entertainment).
    Rebekah Miller says:

    Mine left about a week after Christmas 4yrs ago. I never saw it coming. I had no idea he wanted to leave but he planned it for months.
    Sometimes I’m glad he left especially now that I’m in a stable loving relationship but I had trouble seeing my divorce as a gift for a very long time.

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