Finding Love Again

22 Responses

  1. Simon says:

    Fantastic post – thank you for the positivity and hope for the future

  2. movingon says:

    Thank you for this. Totally needed to hear that! 🙂

  3. movingon says:

    Reblogged this on Single Adjustment and commented:
    I have to say that this really fits in my time line at this time in my life! Thank you “Lessons” for the timely post! Reblogging this on mine to “share the love”

  4. Thanks for the share. 🙂

  5. Steve Kubien says:

    I’m going to print this out for future reference but I have to be honest, at this time, it seems like a pipe dream to me. My fear, my anger, my contempt, my wall are all that’s protecting me. Nothing and no one else.

    Damaged goods? Beyond repair. How can I inflict this level of shit on someone else? That would make me as cruel and selfish as her. I have loved deeply, passionately and it has been thrown to the ground, worthless. Twice! Why on earth would I put myself out there like that again?

    I have given my absolute best, and it hasn’t been good enough. I don’t know how to give anymore.

    • It sounds like the anger (justified, understandable and yet damaging) has to be addressed before you’re ready to date. I had to do the same thing.

      I guess it comes down to choice. I felt much like you do. I decided I didn’t want to feel that way anymore. I saw it as letting him win, letting him choose how my life would be. And that thought pissed me off enough to do the work to let go of the anger and paralyzing fear.

      I think of my algebra students. I am asking them to do hard things. They often try and fail. Sometimes, they throw their pencils across the room in frustration. I convince them it’s worth another try. Eventually, they get it. It takes some longer than others, but by the end of the year, they’re all there. And for those that had to try the hardest, the success, so hard won, is even sweeter.

  6. Melanie says:

    All good things to keep in mind as I begin the adventure into dating. Thank you. This is quite timely for me.

  7. I would have to agree in the idea that some of these concepts, at this moment in my life, seem extremely abstract. But I am so grateful to know that the work it takes to rebuild the framework of life is not a futile endeavor!!
    Thank you for sharing your journey. It’s heart warming and inspiring to know that the shell of a life today is merely the beginning of something beautiful. Knowing that happiness is to be aquired through effort and vision affords personal responsibility for success. I commend you for the blueprints you’ve shared.

  8. I love this, it’s such positive and wise advise. My experience of finding love again was very different. I set an intention and he came into my life like a miracle, the first man I dated after healing from the divorce, we’ve been together early 2 years now.

    He has asked me before if I regret not “playing the field” before getting into a relationship but I don’t. I totally understand what you mean by knowing how to be married but not how to date. I must admit that I was afraid of the whole dating scene and of getting my heart broken, but I was also equally convinced that if I healed my own issues and set an intention for the love I wanted, then I would receive that, and I did. And you are also right about the serendipity involved – circumstances lined up perfectly for us to meet!

    The relationship has been tested though, we split for a while but it only served to make us both realise how right it was to be together. I too really want anyone going through the hell of divorce, break-up and feeling like they will never be happy or find love again to know that it really is possible and not a fairytale fantasy.

    Thanks again for sharing, I am going to share this on my blog and fb page as I think it’s really helpful.
    Marissa xx

  9. Reblogged this on Break Up And Shine and commented:
    Wonderful advice from a wonderful blog. A very different experience to mine of finding love again (which I will share at some point), but positive and hopeful and inspiring.

  10. CRM says:

    Hey thanks for the follow- 🙂 I’m right there with you except I never really acted married because I was the runaway bride and now that I’m divorced I kept saying I should have definitely run from that one- but have finally found one that I am more than positive I don’t want to run from. Hopefully right? 😉

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