We all experience those gut-dropping moments when we feel alone after divorce. Mine came one night when I realized that I was going to be late returning “home,” which was a spare bedroom generously offered for the school year by my friend and her husband. Used to being married, I panicked a bit, thinking that somebody would be worried about my whereabouts and welfare.
And then it hit me.
There wasn’t anybody that I needed to report to. There wasn’t somebody who needed to be kept in the loop about important decisions or changes in plan. It was only me.
Well, me and the cat, I guess.
I often see people respond to this natural and inevitable (and temporary!) feeling of loneliness by doing one of two things:
1) Isolating further and retreating into themselves (which only increases feelings of being unloved and unlovable).
2) Entering the dating scene too early as a source of attention and distraction (which only increases the feelings of being unseen and disposable).