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You’re Not Ready to Date Until You Have These 7 Things In Place!

I put the cart before the horse when it came to dating after divorce. I invited dates to take part in the drama that my ex-husband directed. I looked to my partner for the day for emotional support and validation that I was desirable even after being rejected. And I even allowed my date’s views of me to shape my own self-image.

Overall, I made the experience much harder than it needed to be because I didn’t have these seven things in place before I started dating. Click here to learn more about my mistakes!


  1. Love the “partner of the day”! Lol 😝 Made me laugh, & THANK YOU FOR THAT!
    I have followed these tips for the most part, and of course, agree. Ok, and yes, I wasn’t ready for a much longer time, before the first ever happened. I’ve had a total of 3 different dates this year. Two first and only dates. The third two Fridays ago, with the first second date being last Friday night. WOO HOO!! Wait….backup!!! No, it should have only been a first and only date. But…. me still having problems with low self confidence, agreed to a second.
    Can I say MISTAKE?? What I’ve learned is that I’m smarter and more confident than I thought, and for that and all the articles about dating site do’s and dont’s along with what to watch for it was a very good practice date and second. I have bitten my tongue many times before spitting out something regarding my ex. What I’ve learned there too, is that do I really want anyone thinking “what was she thinking with that awful guy”? NO I don’t. It will be a long time before I spill that spoiled can of beans.
    Also, I MUCH agree with your suggestions about time and energy to date, as well as taking on someone who’s very outdoorsy or athletic, etc. I have the time, but my personal energy levels have been low for some time due to depression, etc.
    I am still very much a recovery in process and I’m ok with that, too, finally. Beating ourselves up does not help us…done that, don’t help. Lots of trials and errors here, but that’s ok too.

  2. Thought provoking set of criteria concerning when to consider looking to starting a new relationship. Several times over the past two years I have questioned if I should have waited longer before starting a new relationship? Being an introvert by default I knew that I could easily become a hermit. The thought of dating after being married over 28 years was daunting. The first date was surreal and I was glad to be 50 miles from my hometown. As I look back at all that has happened, as well as looking forward to the unknown, I don’t believe it would have made a difference in waiting. I would have possibly missing the opportunity to meet my fiance if I had waited.

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