Is Love Worth the Risk?

This piece – Will I Ever Trust Again? – is making the Facebook rounds. The responses to the question? “Nope.” “Never.” “Unfortunately, no.” The comments garnered share a common theme, that the potential benefits of trusting again are not worth the inevitable risk.

And trusting again after betrayal is a risk. Loving again after loss invites insecurity. You can approach it like an actuary, performing calculations of risk assessment to determine the prudent course of action.

I completely understand that urge. In fact, it’s my natural tendency to analyze these things and behave in a way to mitigate risk (case in point – I struggle to even play a nickel slot machine).

But when it comes to trust, to love, I’ve made the decision to approach it in a manner contrary to my inclination.

And it’s all because of watching one woman who loves without limits or qualifiers.

My friend, Sarah, was the one who took me in after my marriage imploded. She and her husband had just brought home an adopted baby – sick and premature – and yet there was no hesitation to let me in.

And I’m watching her in complete admiration now, almost 8 years later, as she navigates the adoption process again.

The baby this time is even more premature than her first, living in a NICU an entire state away. Nothing is certain right now. The adoption process is not finalized and his health, as with most NICU babies, is a rollercoaster of stats and emotions.

But none of that enters into Sarah’s calculations. In the pictures she sends me of this tiny and fragile body nestled against her chest, you can see the unbridled love in her face. This is her child. She is in love. No limits. No walls.

Yes, it’s a risk. Yet in her mind, it’s also not a choice. She understands that love is not something that can be analyzed and controlled. You either submit to it or you don’t experience it.

She didn’t know it, but she was mentor in this that year I lived with her. She had taken a similar risk with her first child, now a happy and healthy 7-year-old. Hell, she took a risk with me, allowing someone in crisis to enter her home and her family and such a critical time.

And during those months, when all I wanted was for the pain to go away and to seal the doors against any possibility of it returning, I watched her. And I began to understand that I had a choice to make.

I could refuse to take that risk. To never again place my faith in someone else. To never again allow someone unfettered access to my heart. It would certainly prevent that pain from ever visiting again.

And then I would see Sarah with her daughter. The rewards that come from taking that risk.

And I knew that I wanted to take that risk again.

I don’t know that I won’t be betrayed again. Gutted again.

But I do know that if I didn’t take the risk, that I would have never felt love again.

And in this case,  I’d rather take a risk than a guarantee.




Thank you for sharing!

9 thoughts on “Is Love Worth the Risk?

  1. “I’d rather take a risk than a guarantee”. Yes! Exactly. I feel the same way about Sarah. Incredible example of pure, flowing unconditional love. She is a shining example to inspire and motivate all, to rise higher.

  2. watchmesurvive – I am a strong woman in my 50s going through the breakup of a long marriage, I never imagined I would be in. My age does not define me, who I become through this time will. I am in a journey of self discovery. When looking in the mirror I want to see the change in myself. The pain of this journey wont be in vain, I will transform into the woman, friend, mother, and lover I aspire to be. I am taking it a day at a time, and as I embrace a wholehearted life I am happy and grateful for this painful process because the rest of my days on this earth will be more fulfilled than I ever expected.
    watchmesurvive says:

    Yes, I will take the risk 💟. I believe there are good people that will know how to value what a tender heart has to offer.

  3. You are doing better than me on the analysis of the nickel machine. I won’t even play a penny machine. 😉

  4. DFMGhost – Writing to remain sane... During a rough period in my life I decided I wanted to write. This is the most personal I will get. I am also writing stories on Wattpad. They are not me but may reflect my feelings and thoughts.
    MLYGhost says:

    I like to think I’d take the risk and allow myself to love again. That’s something I think about a lot while pondering if I should proceed with a divorce, because I think the separation would only be worth it if I could love and feel loved once more.
    I don’t know your friend but I admire her. She sounds like a wonderful person and you are very lucky to have her in your life.

  5. livebysurprise – Liv is the pseudonym reformed divorcee and single mom - now married, coparenting and working mother of three. She's been featured on ScaryMommy, HuffPost Divorce, The Mid and More at
    Liv says:

    Dammit. You scared me there for a minute.

  6. A Familiar Stranger – Middlesbrough, North East England – My name is Matthew Williams, single father to two wonderful children, making it up as I go along. I am a blogger and author. I started my blog, Love, Laughter & Truth, in December 2015 as I attempted to make sense of my rollercoaster life following depression, divorce, and my introduction to the weird world of dating. My first book, Something Changed: Stumbling Through Divorce, Dating & Depression, was published in paperback by Sixth Element Publishing in December 2017, and is available to buy on Amazon. You can find my writing at I hope to see you there!. Very best wishes Matthew
    Love, Laughter & Truth says:

    I’ve had times this year when I’ve asked the same question but ultimately without the risk I’ll never be able to find what I believe will be better than anything I’ve yet experienced.

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