101 Completely Normal Thoughts to Have During Divorce

  1. My life is over.
  2. So this is what feeling gutted feels like.
  3. The bed feels so empty. Cold.
  4. There’s nobody to complain about crumbs in the bed. Cookies!
  5. Ugh. Now I’m bloated and still sad.
  6. Am I going to be alone forever?
  7. I could sell everything and leave the country. Start over on some beach somewhere.
  8. But that’s too much work. It’s hard enough just to get the weekly groceries.
  9. Besides, that was the dream we had together.
  10. Jerk.
  11. I want to kill my ex.
  12. I want my ex back.
  13. No, scratch that. I want my ex to want me back so that I can tell them to screw off.
  14. What am I going to tell people?
  15. I wish I had a publicity agent like Jolie and Pitt to handle that.
  16. But then I’d have cameras in my face during all of this.
  17. Ugh. My face is all puffy and pale.
  18. Can I hibernate until this is over? Pretty please?
  19. Or maybe I’ll wake up and discover that all of this was just a nightmare.
  20. Is it normal to feel this way?
  21. When am I going to feel better? I’m so tired of this.
  22. What if that’s it? What if that was the best I’ll ever have and it’s all downhill from here?
  23. God, I’m such a cliché.
  24. Nobody understands what I’m feeling.
  25. At least my lawyer is looking out for me.
  26. What!?! $850 for an email response and a single phone call.
  27. My lawyer is evil.
  28. I could sell all of the evidence of our married life on eBay to help pay for all this.
  29. It’s all sh*t.
  30. Where did all these happily coupled people come from???
  31. No really, it’s like they’re extras hired from some movie set brought in specifically to torture me.
  32. Love sucks.
  33. I’m going to be single and strong and independent forever. Screw this love thing.
  34. I’m lonely.
  35. When did the nights get so long?
  36. I am so tired.
  37. I need to make more of an effort.
  38. Am I too old to wear this now?
  39. Hmmm… my butt still looks pretty good.
  40. You know, I’m going to get to have sex with a new person.
  41. Sh*t! I’m going to have to have sex with a new person.
  42. I better start exercising.
  43. Tomorrow.
  44. Why have my friends distanced themselves?
  45. It’s like they think divorce is contagious.
  46. Wait, that one couple friend of our broke up last year.
  47. Maybe it is catching.
  48. I certainly feel like I’m in quarantine.
  49. I don’t need those friends anyway. Their lives are so boring.
  50. I can now completely reinvent myself.
  51. Maybe I’ll quit my job. Go all bohemian.
  52. Bucket list! Here I come!!!
  53. I miss my old life.
  54. Why does it take something this big to provide perspective?
  55. God, I’m so dumb.
  56. I wonder if I’m even capable of being in a working relationship?
  57. And now I have baggage. A scarlet “Damaged” sign.
  58. Ugh.
  59. Look! The sun’s out today!
  60. Oh, I guess it’s been out. I just noticed it. I need to get better about that.
  61. Tomorrow.
  62. So this is why self-help is so popular.
  63. I guess I’m not the only to feel this way.
  64. Good to know.
  65. Still sucks, though.
  66. I’m tired of people telling me it will be okay.
  67. My okay is being legally dissolved at a rate of $350 per hour.
  68. Why didn’t I become a lawyer?
  69. What do I do now?
  70. No, really. Somebody please tell me what to do.
  71. Wait! Am I being checked out?
  72. That feels good.
  73. Oh no. They’re walking over. I’m not ready for this.
  74. Woah. I haven’t felt that rush since prom.
  75. But this feels wrong. Like I’m cheating.
  76. I miss my ex.
  77. I wonder if my ex is thinking about me?
  78. Oh sh*t! What if someone is checking them out???
  79. I should check their Facebook.
  80. Why did I do that?
  81. How are they so happy?
  82. It’s not fair.
  83. I’m going to show them!
  84. This smile feels fake. I wonder if there’s a filter that will make it look real in the picture?
  85. I just want this to be over.
  86. But what does that even mean???
  87. I’m such a mess.
  88. I’m starting to get used to all of the extra space in the bed and not having to share the covers.
  89. If I ever marry again, I’ll have to have my own bed.
  90. Or not. I miss feeling a warm arm around me.
  91. Well, that’s that. The papers are signed. I’m officially unknotted.
  92. Why am I sad? I’ve been waiting for this day.
  93. Now what do I focus on?
  94. I shouldn’t have checked their Facebook page again.
  95. But it didn’t sting quite as badly this time.
  96. Looking at it now it’s a little blurry. A little distant.
  97. I guess that’s good.
  98. So why do I still feel sad?
  99. Still, look at all I’ve managed to get through.
  100. I’m pretty bada$$.
  101. I think I’m going to be okay.
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10 thoughts on “101 Completely Normal Thoughts to Have During Divorce

  1. I find it VERY interesting how each divorce can bring about different feelings. I wanted out of my marriage from early on…. (took me 20 years to finally get out), but my feelings are VERY different from yours. I know your backstory and completely understand why you feel this way. Just pointing out an observation. Excellent post (as always)

  2. 1) Unfortunately not, you’ll have to suffer for a long time first.
    2) Being gutted isn’t so bad, this is much worse.
    3) I’m working 2 fulltime jobs and getting overtime from both, No sleep for me.
    6) Yes, yes I am.
    7) I could sell everything and pay off 1/1000th of the debt she left.
    8) I can’t afford food I haven’t eaten in 9 days.
    21) It’s been 17 years and I still feel just as bad.
    22) 17 years later, yep that’s it.
    23) I can’t afford a lawyer, I didn’t even show up at the hearing.
    40) I’m never going to have sex again.
    71) I think this one is only for women.
    101) I’ll never be Ok again.

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