Death of a Shared Past, or Why Fluid Dynamics Makes Me Smile Alone

10 Responses

  1. yep. i get it. me too.

  2. “Death of a Shared Past”…perfect expression. I’ll carry that around in my head for the rest of my life. Hmmm.

  3. And death is exactly what it is. That’s why they compare divorce to the grieving process of a death. Loved this post. Thanks.

  4. Reblogged this on Solving Maria and commented:
    Death of a Shared past – That’s what I’m feeling today. So much of my past is now gone. Or it has been rewritten. I’m not sure which hurts more. (See the reblog attached)

  5. This happens to me all the time.

  6. sue says:

    As I am just beginning my journey, the “death of the shared past” is hitting my hard and often. Just yesterday, I was attempting to DVR a football game for 6 year old (so he would go to sleep), and there wasn’t enough space so I started deleting shows. The shows I deleted went back through our active marriage. It was like every deletion was another part of the end of my marriage. We used to have our shows we would watch as a couple. Currently, the whole idea of tv watching escapes me as I am now a single mom, but as I deleted and deleted; it made me realize that once I actually have time to watch our shows, it will be me alone.

    • Initially I felt that I had lost forty years of my life, but that has come down to ten as i am now beginning to be able to share with the children the happy times of their childhood. It has taken a while to get to this point.
      I understand completely how you would feel, when there is no-one to share the memories of those years with. It is like an empty chasm inside of you.

  7. littlemeuk says:

    I think of a million pieces of shared past each day. I’m hoping with time I can smile about them, at the moment each one is like a little knife.

  8. norcalkatie says:

    Yes! I think one of the saddest realizations I had was this whole shared experience and sense of humor with my ex husband which disappeared overnight. I concur that there are moments where I smile and know why, even if nobody else understands or sees me smile. Time seems to have faded things more positively for me rather than negatively, and for that I’m grateful. Especially for the people who come and go from our lives. Beautiful post.

  1. October 9, 2014

    […] downtown. As we watched the Atlanta traffic from the vantage point of our room, I told Brock about my obsession with the fluid dynamics theory of traffic, a viewpoint my ex always teased me about. Brock not only didn’t make fun of me, he agreed. […]

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