Directions: First Close, Then Open

Those are the directions on the housewarming gift I’m leaving for Brock this morning. In a few hours we close on the new house. Needless to say, there hasn’t been much sleeping ’round these parts the last few nights.

I’m excited. So damn excited. I’m starting to let myself believe that this is actually going to happen. We received pictures of the repairs on the screened in porch from the seller yesterday. Hard to believe that I could be on that porch soon.

I’m anxious. There is still so much that can go wrong. I don’t want to count the proverbial chickens. Or any real ones, for that matter.

I’m left out. Since the note is in his name only (thanks to the parting gift of a foreclosure from my ex), he will be attending the proceedings this morning without me (I’m using my personal days for the wedding this year).  It’s a strange feeling. It’s “our” house, yet in some very real ways, it’s not mine. I’m still trying to be okay with that.

After the chaos and lack of anchorage the past four years, this house means stability. Roots. Safety. I can finally unpack. Not just boxes, but my life. In some ways, I’ve been in storage waiting for the right time.

Now is the right time.

So, in a few hours, during which I’ll be teaching similar figures while dressed in a Superman shirt (it’s superhero day at school), Brock will be signing papers that close on a house and open a new chapter in our lives. May this home and this chapter be filled with lots of love, laughter and friends. And no chickens.

Thank you for sharing!

10 thoughts on “Directions: First Close, Then Open

  1. It does kind of feel like being left out. But, when it all comes down to it, it is just a piece of paper. The house is as much yours as it is his. The bank may see him as the owner, but they are an It, an entity, a non-person. To you and Brock and everyone who matters in your life, the house and the life belongs to both of you.
    That said, if I were there, I would probably also be having trouble reconciling the concrete papers with the symbolic papers.

  2. Let's CUT the Crap! – Canada – I'm getting a little LONG in the tooth and have things to say about---ouch---AGEing. I believe it's certainly a state of mind but sometimes it's nice to hear that you're NORMAL. I enjoy reading by the truckload. I'm a grandma but I don't feel OLD although I'm not so young anymore. My plan is to stick it out as long as I can on this lovely planet and only will leave it kicking and screaming!
    Let's CUT the Crap! says:

    A few more hours. You can do it. Save your energy for the move!

  3. 3kids2cats1divorce – Middle aged, stay at home mom to three teenagers, with two fat house cats lounging about. Estranged spouse has moved out to have a midlife crisis. I'm figuring out who I am, how to be a single mom, and looking for a job after 18 years at home raising kids. The kids and cats just want to be fed. Update January 2015: My estranged husband is now almost my ex-husband, just waiting for the judge to sign the papers. I've gone back to college and my youngest kid has started high school, which my local school board has deemed appropriate to start at 7-frickin'-o'clock in the morning. It's been almost three years since the midlife crisis blew up my family and I'm finally seeing the light at the end of that very long tunnel.
    3kids2cats1divorce says:

    Boy, do I relate to that sense of un-rootedness. I’m at the front end, faced with selling the family home while looking for a new home. My youngest kid is super resistant to a new “family” home and it’s heartbreaking. Wherever we are, whoever’s name is on the papers, if you’re together, it’s home. Congratulations!

  4. Hey, don’t count out chickens, raised them for about twenty-five years, They are wonderful, funny, amusing, and just a great pet. Plus they leave you eggs, maybe not as cuddly as a dog but still worth the money and time. 🙂

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