I’ve never fallen in love at first sight, but I sure fell out of love at first sight of the text message my husband of 16 years sent me three years ago.
“I am sorry to be such a coward leaving you this way, but I am leaving you and leaving the state.”
Until that moment, I would have gladly taken a bullet for for him. After that moment, I wanted to be the one to discharge said bullet. I never could have imagined that my feelings for him could change so dramatically. So quickly. So completely. I went from missing him and wanting to snuggle up next to him to being repulsed by the very idea of him. I wanted him purged from my very existence, wiped clean from my slate.
I’ve learned that is not an easy thing to do.
When I got the mail today (why is it that the mail always seems to hide such ugly surprises for me?), I found a piece of junk from Geico addressed to my ex. Now, let me explain how strange this is. I have moved four times in the last three years. I changed my last name at the time of the divorce two years ago. And…my ex and I never had any insurance through Geico (I started using them AFTER the divorce). How and why did they connect our names and why are they assuming he lives with me? (Maybe I should check the closets just in case.)
It doesn’t matter how much I want him to disappear, apparently echoes of him will continue to sound through my life. At least now, those echoes are muffled, causing no discomfort only a mild curiosity and annoyance. It was Over three years ago; these sounds are just the noise of a dead relationship. Apparently Geico didn’t get that memo.