Bouncing Back

8 Responses

  1. It’s just amazing at the lack of understanding they have of the enormity of what they have done. I have not gotten to the generous stage, yet. I certainly don’t longer. But, I certainly do not forgive

    • Crystal says:

      I marvel at the disconnect sometimes, trying to explain how something he did can affect me so much more than it does him. Oh God, the number of times I’ve heard “why can’t you just trust me that I’m telling the truth?”

      Gee, I wonder.

      He’s better about understanding now, after hitting rock bottom in terms of infidelity/addiction, but it’s really only because now it actually had severe repercussions for him.

      • stilllearning2b says:

        The disconnect/denial/cognitive dissonance is crazy strong. They really do begin to believe their own BS.

    • stilllearning2b says:

      Clueless. They are completely clueless.

  2. bez R says:

    I can most certainly identify with this process.

    How I wish I knew back then with some degree of certainty that I would look back at this whole ordeal and realise that freedom would ultimately come, albeit in small doses. Freedom from the lies and deceit, freedom from regrets and heartache. Freedom from being terrified of what the future holds. Freedom from being unsure if you will ever be whole again.

    Yet it comes.

    You will love again. You will take every step with the same assurance you did before. You will heal. You will be wholesome once again. And most importantly, you will be stronger.

    My turning point came when I consciously decided that I was not going to be a victim any longer. That I had enough strength to move forward and that I had to take charge and responsibility for my own happiness. One day at the time.

    I assure you that it comes.

    I look back still feeling angry and betrayed. But I know that I am living a fulfilling life now that I could have never achieved with her.

    Solder on. Your moment will surely arrive. Your destination is just ahead.

  3. CJ says:

    At some point, I have to figure out if I should fish or cut bait. My wife had a 2-year emotional affair and I decided to stick with her. But 4-plus years after the affair was disclosed, she is still as disconnected as ever and my heart has pretty much gone through the shredder.
    How do you bounce back when you are still together (as roommates — we are actually in the same house but separate rooms with no emotional or physical connection of any kind).
    Marriage SUCKS! If I didn’t still have one child still at home (a junior in high school and the other two are adults and out of the house), I am not sure what I would do at this point. I keep hearing that leaving marriages like this can lead to a brighter future with someone who would actually love and desire you. I can only hope and pray because this marriage is so DEAD!

  1. November 25, 2019

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