You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married

3 Responses

  1. I just wrote an Instagram post about this and how in order to move on one has to give up on being right and give up on the all mighty “win” Love your posts. Great writing and so on target!

  2. Brad says:

    “One elephant. Six men. And six different – and equally valid – conclusions.” I think you might want to reconsider using this famous story. The REAL point of the story is that when people work with limited (and often different sets of information) they come to different and often incorrect conclusions. And are often wrong. The story used with the elephant shows that ALL of them are wrong. It’s not a snake. It’s not a rug. It’s an elephant. So to state that each is different and equally valid is odd since none of them are actually correct.
    Now you DO need to listen and get the complete story to have a chance at getting to the correct conclusion. So, yes, you do need to be open minded and hear and see several sets of inputs. And you have to have the ability to step back and be able to evaluate, “Is this really a snake that I am touching?” Hearing others out opens up possibilities. I think we tend to get locked into this thought of “this is true for me” mentality that gives us an excuse to say, I can ignore the facts that don’t support MY conclusion. Which is equally problematic and still keeps us in a belief that “feels right” to us, but in reality, is not right. (sorry, caught up in some of my own relationship issues!) Maybe that IS the most efficient way to load the dishwasher. And saying “I didn’t realize there was a universally agreed upon correct method.” is dismissive. (don’t get me started on differences in types of dishes, types of dishwasher racks, types of loads, etc.) And then one is not open to even looking into WHY he believe this is the right way. Maybe it is! The dishwasher story sounds like the wife just doesn’t care about what he is thinking.
    The rest of the points are pretty good.

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