What You Were Looking For in 2014

Every January, I enjoy looking back at some of the search terms that lead to my blog. Some are obvious (“marriage ended”) and some make me question humanity (“how do I get away with bigamy?”), but many simply make me chuckle. Here’s a collection of some of the funnier search terms from this past year along with the link to the piece they found:

“Bon Jovi stalker” I never quite reached stalker status, but I did secure a rubbing from his name carved into the Alamo.

“Happy birthday to my car” Apparently lots of people like to wish their cars happy birthday. Mine will celebrate its sweet 16 this year. Maybe then it can drive itself:)

“My wife is lame” Do you mean she has a limp?

“I’m a lame duck husband” Maybe you should meet the woman referenced above.

“Heart beans”  What does this mean? Will somebody please tell me????

“I am an introvert that wants to be real assassin” And apparently a real felon too. I’m not sure how much introversion has to do with wanting to take people out.

“The end!!!!!!!!”  Lots of people find me by looking for information about endings. No one else has been this excited though.

“The grass is always greener on the other side except over the sceptic tank meaning in marriage” Ummm…. No comment.

“Commit bigamy” Why do I read this as though it is a command?

“Spilled coffee in my Acura navi buttons” And then you ended up wasting valuable clean-up time reading about divorce. I’m sorry.

“Clean up Aisle 21!” Somehow I think this was meant to be read into a microphone rather than typed into the computer.

“Shaved monkey” Very carefully. They bite.

“Gerard Poujardieu” Yeah. I miss him too.

“What is the soulmate switch?” No idea. If you find out, please let me know.

“Eau de Sasquatch” Eau all right. I hope this wasn’t a gift for somebody.

“A bone to chew with you” Why do I feel like I need to apologize?

“Chutes and Ladders for financial advice” Generally I would recommend a financial advisor rather than Hasbro, but to each his own.

“All terrain pug” It makes me smile to think there could be another one out there.

Want to read my advice to the great searchers of 2013? You can!

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