Make It Better

14 Responses

  1. reluctantmom says:

    I stumbled across your blog a few months ago — my husband asked me for a divorce on the 20 December 2013. I did not see it coming, I walked around January like I had been hit in the head with a 2 by 4.

    I live in Cape Town, South Africa.

    Initially nothing you said resonated with me. I think I was in full blown anger, disillusionment, avoidance and all those words together.

    I subscribed to your blog – each time it arrived, I would think I really do not want to read this …… because there is nothing I can learn here.

    I was wrong. As I have been. Your blog has taught me things and made me focus on things that I do not think years of therapy could have done for me.

    Instead of lawyers, we are using mediators and facilitators. My guess is that within 6 more hours of m&f a 20 year relationship will be over. And then we just wait for the rubber stamp from a judge.

    Today this one resonated with me — and I am not a glass if half full kind of girl “When something is good, it is easy to make it better.”

    Thank you for writing.

    • Wow. Thank you for giving me a chance:) I completely get the “I don’t have anything to learn here” feeling. I felt that way quite a bit in the early months. I think it’s because we’re so defensive once we’ve been hurt so much. We curl up inside a protective shell for awhile.

      So sorry to hear that the end is near. That stamp symbolizes the end of one life. But is also marks the beginning of a new one. And I wish the best for you in your second life.

  2. Dan_Dlion says:

    Reblogged this on Outside The Fish Bowl and commented:

  3. Dan_Dlion says:

    Great thoughts and just what I needed to read today

  4. Lori Beth says:

    I started reading your blog over a year and half ago. My husband, also my high school sweetheart left me in a tsunami divorce for another women over two years ago. Your blog has helped me so much, and even though I feel that my life is currently back on track, I still read your blog because of the amazing insight that you give. I wish that I found your blog earlier, when I was in the depths of depression. I went through many of the same symptoms that you did. It would have been nice to know that they were normal at the time that I was going through them.
    Now, my cousin is going through a horrific divorce. She lost her house and her children. I just recommended your book and blog to her. You are an example of healing under the worst of circumstances and have help me so much.

    • Wow. Again, honored and humbled. Thank you so much for your support and for spreading the word. I am so sorry to hear about your cousin, yet thrilled to hear about you. I know that you’ll be an inspiration for her on how to make it through.

  5. Reblogged this on Between Madness & Euphoria and commented:
    I’ve never reblogged anything before, but I loved this post by Lessons From the End of a Marriage.

    These waves have carried me up and down for the past 2 1/2 years. I’ve learned is that when I’m in a trough, I just need to hold on long enough, and then something will break, and things will start looking up and cresting again.

    The waves have taught me the importance of rest and acceptance.

    And I’ve learned you can not fight the wave. You can try but it’s like any other exhausting and fruitless endeavor like trying to fix someone else.

    I’m just waiting for the day the waves start flowing a little slower and more calmly.

  6. I do remember you were one of the first to comment on my blog and sent me a link to your ‘tsunami’ ending which helped. Interestingly enough, the posts where I described my horror did initially get more comments than the ‘I am feeling positive’ posts.
    Thanks for your support and I still read every one of your posts.

    • And thank you for your support:) I, too, find that the horror stories get more comments. I think it’s because they’re more emotional and trigger an emotional response in others.

  7. You have hit me between the eyes from the very first time I read your words. I didn’t always appreciate it, but I kept coming back. I came back knowing I needed the punch, knowing your words would help me through the fog. You threw small white pebbles in my path where it seemed I only had large black boulders.

    This one, as with so many others sings. Thank you for putting in the work, whether in the peaks or valleys what you do it helps.

  1. March 28, 2014

    […] I’ve never reblogged anything before, but I loved this post by Lessons From the End of a Marriage. […]

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