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Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A “How to Thrive” Guide After Divorce

Rebooting: Are You in Safe Mode?

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Rebooting in safe mode. 

Divorce is a major reboot of your life.  Control-Alt-Del of all that is familiar.  The process can vary, some may have time to save and safely exit their open files.  For others, applications are subdued with repeated clicks of the “force quit” button.  Divorce causes damage to the system, errors and gaps.  For most of us, we have to start our lives over again in safe mode.

According to Microsoft,

Safe mode is a troubleshooting option for Windows that starts your computer in a limited state. Only the basic files and drivers necessary to run Windows are started. The words “Safe Mode” appear in the corners of the display to identify which Windows mode you are using. If an existing problem does not reappear when you start in safe mode, you can eliminate the default settings and basic device drivers as possible causes.

After a divorce, safe mode means that your life is powered up again in a limited state.  Only the necessary applications  for living are in place; it is survival mode.  There is nothing wrong with this state; in fact, it is often required to be able to function at all.  However, just as a computer in safe mode is not truly operational, a life in safe mode is not truly living.  Safe mode is a time, a space, a tool that should be used to diagnose and treat any maladaptive hardware or software issues so that a full reboot can occur.

Look at your own life.  Are you in safe mode?  Does this state still serve you, or is time to complete the repairs and perform a full reboot of your life?

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