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Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A “How to Thrive” Guide After Divorce

Gatekeeper

A marriage should not have a gatekeeper. Where one party restricts and manages the flow of information into the relationship. And one partner assumes the responsibility of pre-filtering what the other person sees and hears.   A marriage should not have a gatekeeper. One person acting like a parent who knows what is best for the other. AndContinue reading “Gatekeeper”

Lipstick On a Pig

It was just an ordinary day. But my reaction was anything but ordinary. It started out innocently enough. My now-ex-husband and I were walking through the mall on a cold, rainy Saturday afternoon when he posed an innocuous question: “How many stores here apart from department stores do you think sell lipstick?” I pondered forContinue reading “Lipstick On a Pig”

I Reject Your Reality and Substitute My Own

In my ex husband’s mind, why tell the truth when you can invent it? Why yell when instead you can quietly manipulate through gaslighting? In all of the pain after my ex husband left, there is one pain that stands out as more acute than the rest. After being arrested for bigamy and bailing out ofContinue reading “I Reject Your Reality and Substitute My Own”

What is He?

At the beginning, I looked for a label. I needed a label. I read The Sociopath Next Door. I combed the DSM. I held his history and his traits against checklists until my eyes blurred. I wanted a label because I thought it would bring understanding. Closure. I knew he wasn’t the man I loved.Continue reading “What is He?”

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