Five steps to happiness after unwanted divorce –
Are you facing an unwanted divorce? Struggling to believe that anything will ever be okay again? I’m not going to pretend it will be easy. But I’m also living proof that it is possible, even when the divorce is traumatic and its effects long-lasting.
At this point, you may be thinking, “Well, that’s nice and all, but HOW am I actually going to be able to find contentment within all of this mess???”
I hear you.
Believe it or not, that anger and frustration you’re feeling can be a powerful tool if you know how to use it. Somebody has done you wrong. And you’re rightfully pissed. And discouraged. Maybe even on the verge of giving up.
Nothing you can do or say can undo what they have done to you. It is impossible for you to take back what they have taken from you – whether it be your innocence or the years you shared.
But what you CAN do is refuse to give them any more of you.
Things started to change for me when I committed to focusing on my own well-being instead of my ex’s horrific actions and the possible motivations behind them. I began to see any thoughts directed towards him or bemoaning the rubble I was left as the emotional equivalent of feeding quarters into a broken vending machine. I wanted what I could see just behind the glass but no matter how much attention I paid, I was no closer to obtaining it. It was only when I started to “pay” myself, that things improved.
Your ex will NEVER be the source of your happiness. So stop looking for it in their direction. Focusing on what you have lost and how your life is now different will not make you feel any better. However, doing the best with what you have WILL lead to a better outcome.
Do you want more specific advice and concrete steps that you can take?