Forced Vulnerability

We had to have our hardwood floors re-redone earlier this week. No, that’s not one of my typos. There was basically a typo during the first redoing of the floors.

So again, we moved all of the furniture from the first floor (I swear next time I’m the market for furniture, everything will be made of bean bags!). And again, we boarded Tiger and rented a hotel room for the night.

My brain was half on moving stuff and half on ramping up for the first day back at school with a third half (impossible, I know, but that’s what my brain feels like right now) stubbornly trying to stay in vacation mode.

And I screwed up.

I made a special stop for Brock to get some of his essentials. I gathered Tiger’s food to take to the vet. I packed everything I needed for the single-night hotel stay.

With one exception.

My glasses.

I only realized my error when I pulled out my contact case that night. And I panicked. I haven’t been without my glasses at night in well over a decade. And at that point, I could still sort of see.

Now?

Nothing.

I visually inspected the route from the bathroom to the bed, removed my sight and used the wall to get myself to the safety of the bed. At least it felt like a bed.

Where I promptly began to freak out.

Strange environments and sudden blindness are not amicable companions.

“If there’s an emergency, I’m completely dependent upon you,” I told Brock, anxiety bleeding into my words.

He immediately had me navigate the path to the bathroom – and my contacts – several times before he was confident I could do it quickly.

Somewhat relaxed, I felt for my Kindle, closed my left (really bad) eye and tried to read since that is how I fall asleep. My nose kept changing the pages.

Thank goodness for podcasts.

I realized that night that there is a huge difference between choosing to be vulnerable (as I have done with my writing and my now-husband) and forced (and surprise) vulnerability. I much prefer the former.

And I am ever-so-grateful that I was with somebody that I could depend upon completely, even though I hated the feeling of being so helpless.

And maybe most importantly, I have promised myself to never, never forget my glasses again!

 

 

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