In those early days after my husband left but before I had any answers, I looked to see if I could find evidence of an Ashley Madison account.
Nothing turned up.
But even though that avenue may not have been explored, I still knew that others had based upon the preponderance of evidence.
Just because your partner’s name is not one of the 33 million on the list does not mean that he or she has been faithful. After all, most infidelity occurs without being asked to enter a credit card number.
And the inclusion of a name does not necessarily mean that infidelity occurred. After all, I can’t even begin to guess how many items I’ve put into online shopping carts yet never completed the purchase.
Nothing is to be gained from searching the vast database for a name or an email. It’s only one data point (and one gathered illegally, at that) and one that can easily mislead.
Instead, look for a preponderance of evidence leading you to a particular conclusion and listen to your gut.
Leave the Ashley Madison hack to the journalists who are frantically searching for the emails of public figures.