Opinion

I realized something last night.

Brock asked for my opinion. It was about something where I have no expertise and that ultimately comes down to his personal decision.

But he still asked for and valued my opinion.

He does this frequently. In fact, often enough that I sometimes get annoyed.

“Why do you want to know what I think? It’s your decision. It comes down to what you want.”

But last night, I realized something.

That him asking for my opinion (even and maybe especially in areas where I have no particular insight) is a sign of respect. Of openness. Of equality.

And the reason that I get annoyed is that I’m not used to that from my husband. At least not the first one.

There were decisions we made together – options that impacted us both. And then there were decisions he made on his own. And he never wanted my input on those one way or another.

I was used to that independent streak, especially because I carry quite a strong one myself. When we weren’t involved in a joint venture (which was often, including the weekly grocery trip), we were usually operating solo.

So that means when I hear, “Lisa, can you come give me your opinion on something?” when I’m in the middle of my own project, I can get a little irritated at the interruption.

Until last night’s realization.

He’s not asking me because he really needs my input; he’s perfectly capable of making decisions on his own (and often better than I am in the midst of a crisis).

He’s not interrupting me because he either doesn’t value my current project or with any intention of annoying (not even remotely part of his character).

He’s asking for my opinion because he cares about my opinion. Even when it’s about something that is his own decision to make.

And that’s worth an interruption any day.

On a related note, I called my mom for her opinion about a project I am working on. She was thrilled:)

Thank you for sharing!

6 thoughts on “Opinion

  1. livebysurprise – Liv is the pseudonym reformed divorcee and single mom - now married, coparenting and working mother of three. She's been featured on ScaryMommy, HuffPost Divorce, The Mid and DivorcedMoms.com. More at http://www.livebysurprise.com.
    Liv says:

    I soooooo understand exactly what you mean. It’s so nice to be valued like that! Glad you came to the realization. Keep that man close!!

  2. Anne-Marie Wiesman – USA – I am a wife, mother, EFT Practitioner, Hypnotherapist and Founder of Follow Your Song a website and Facebook Community which was started to bring Inspiration, Encouragement and Hope to survivors of all forms of abuse including, Childhood Sexual abuse, Domestic Violence and Narcissistic abuse. My hope is that you will utilize the information, tools and resources to help you in your recovery. My goal is to create a community of survivors who can support, learn and heal together. Wishing you well on your healing journey! Anne-Marie Wiesman
    Anne-Marie Wiesman says:

    Brock. That’s my Narcissistic, alcoholic, abusive ex husbands name! Everytime I’d have that show Reba on and hear that name I’d cringe.

      1. Anne-Marie Wiesman – USA – I am a wife, mother, EFT Practitioner, Hypnotherapist and Founder of Follow Your Song a website and Facebook Community which was started to bring Inspiration, Encouragement and Hope to survivors of all forms of abuse including, Childhood Sexual abuse, Domestic Violence and Narcissistic abuse. My hope is that you will utilize the information, tools and resources to help you in your recovery. My goal is to create a community of survivors who can support, learn and heal together. Wishing you well on your healing journey! Anne-Marie Wiesman
        Anne-Marie Wiesman says:

        🙂 Is Brock a fake name or is it your ex husbands name too?

          1. Anne-Marie Wiesman – USA – I am a wife, mother, EFT Practitioner, Hypnotherapist and Founder of Follow Your Song a website and Facebook Community which was started to bring Inspiration, Encouragement and Hope to survivors of all forms of abuse including, Childhood Sexual abuse, Domestic Violence and Narcissistic abuse. My hope is that you will utilize the information, tools and resources to help you in your recovery. My goal is to create a community of survivors who can support, learn and heal together. Wishing you well on your healing journey! Anne-Marie Wiesman
            Anne-Marie Wiesman says:

            lol my husband would have picked superman too!

Leave a ReplyCancel reply