How NOT to Be a Victim

“Let me introduce you to the victim advocate,” offered the policeman who had arrested my husband the day before.

I stopped short. That was the first time that word – victim – had ever been applied to me. I certainly felt victimized. My partner of sixteen years had just abandoned me with a text message, stolen all of my money and then committed bigamy. Yet even though I was still in the acute phase of suffering, I startled at the application of the word “victim.”

Because even though I had been hurt, I did not want to see myself as a victim. Although it felt good for the pain and unfairness to be recognized, the term also made me feel minimized. Read the rest of the post here and learn how NOT to be a victim.



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12 Responses

  1. Reblogged this on The Wish Your Heart Makes and commented:
    Yes! One thing I haven’t done: dehumanized my husband. He’s done that enough with his own actions and reaffirming his obvious lack of self-love hurts both of us just as his actions hurt both of us.

  2. Amanda says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. This morning I had a conversation with a victims rights advocate for the local YWCA. I talked to her about joining one of their support groups they offer and I told her that I struggle with the words “victim” and “survivor.”

    It kind of blows my mind that a link to this specific post from your blog was e-mailed to me and I ACTUALLY checked my e-mail today.

    I follow your blog and I just want to say thank you.

    Best Regards,

  3. I really wanted to be a part of your guest posts.. I sat down a few times and started to write and I just never liked how it was coming out.. too much stress right now I suppose.. So cool to have seen you on tv! and good to see there is an end to this pain 🙂

  4. tywood12 says:

    Reblogged this on My New Life and commented:
    Please read

  5. Hi Lisa. I didn’t know where else to post this. I know you don’t need it, but I nominated you for a Liebster award because I just love your work…

  1. July 2, 2014
  2. November 10, 2014

    […] It’s difficult not to see yourself as a victim when something happens to you. But you are only a victim if you imprison yourself. Release the shackles of the past and let your spirit soar. […]

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