How NOT to Be a Victim

“Let me introduce you to the victim advocate,” offered the policeman who had arrested my husband the day before.

I stopped short. That was the first time that word – victim – had ever been applied to me. I certainly felt victimized. My partner of sixteen years had just abandoned me with a text message, stolen all of my money and then committed bigamy. Yet even though I was still in the acute phase of suffering, I startled at the application of the word “victim.”

Because even though I had been hurt, I did not want to see myself as a victim. Although it felt good for the pain and unfairness to be recognized, the term also made me feel minimized. Read the rest of the post here and learn how NOT to be a victim.


Thank you for sharing!

12 thoughts on “How NOT to Be a Victim

  1. Thank you, thank you, thank you. This morning I had a conversation with a victims rights advocate for the local YWCA. I talked to her about joining one of their support groups they offer and I told her that I struggle with the words “victim” and “survivor.”

    It kind of blows my mind that a link to this specific post from your blog was e-mailed to me and I ACTUALLY checked my e-mail today.

    I follow your blog and I just want to say thank you.

    Best Regards,

  2. betrayedin2012 – I am in my early thirties, married with 2 children. And Christmas night of 2012, after 10 years of marriage, I discovered my husband was having an affair, and I just want to talk about it.
    betrayedin2012 says:

    I really wanted to be a part of your guest posts.. I sat down a few times and started to write and I just never liked how it was coming out.. too much stress right now I suppose.. So cool to have seen you on tv! and good to see there is an end to this pain 🙂

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