My husband recently had someone from his past get in touch with him after 20 years. The results have been interesting. It’s made my husband reflect back upon a time in his life where he normally doesn’t trek along memory lane. I’ve enjoyed listening to the stories of the experiences that helped to turn the Brock of then into the Brock I know.
With my ex, I knew those formative experiences. Hell, I was there for many of them. With Brock, I only know what he tells me. And, as we all do, the stories are filtered through the lens of now. Current knowledge and position making sense of the past.
But sometimes those memories are called into question.
From his perspective, that was a time when he was still young and stupid. He possessed big goals and was starting to make the first steps into making them happen, but was still full of more questions than certainty. And many of the tales I’ve heard certainly back that up:)
But the person who contacted him saw him differently – a man who was confident. A leader. Someone who would be successful.
And it’s interesting to watch Brock assimilate that perspective into the one that he has of himself at that age.
It’s so true that we form narratives of ourselves. We craft our stories from within our own minds, perhaps more aware of the fears and the doubts rather than the actions that others witness. Often, others see the strength in us when we focus on our weakness.
What we perceive and what comes through to the outside world can vary greatly. It’s not unlike the shifting view of the world when closing one eye at a time. And the truest picture of ourselves comes when we see with both eyes, our own and those around us.
I know this feeling. Years ago, not long after my father remarried someone I had know all my life she said something to me I found stunning. We were sitting over coffee and first I simply stared at her, likely with my jaw on my chest. Then I broke down and cried. That conversation broke a dam in me, it was early in the morning and we talked for two hours, until others woke and joined us the conversation shifted to other more mundane things.