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Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A “How to Thrive” Guide After Divorce

Ten Embarrassing Truths

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I’ve spent the morning writing about some pretty heavy stuff and I just learned some very upsetting news about a friend. I’m ready to lighten the mood a bit. So, now for something completely different:

Ten Embarrassing Truths Revealed (Many for the very first time)

1) I am absolutely terrible about getting haircuts. I just had my first one since September. I don’t know why I’m so bad about them. I always intend to be better, but…

2) I can barely ride a bike (discussed in Learning to Go Downhill). It’s shameful since my dad is an uber bike rider and I’m so athletic.

3) Sometimes at night I pig out on a concoction of Greek yogurt, peanut butter, Splenda brown sugar and chocolate chips. In large quantities.

4) I wear this pair of sweatpants all the time around the house. They’re way too big and don’t even stay up. Even plumbers would be embarrassed.

5) My sneeze sounds like a barking chihuahua, in volume, sound and duration. All heads turn when my sinuses let go.

6) I gave up on cleaning my car about 6 years ago. In all other areas of my life, I am neat and clean. My car, however, is covered with black stuff on the outside and dog hair on the inside. Luckily, Tiger is my primary passenger.

7) Since I received my Kindle, I’ve started reading trashy novels. I pretend that it’s only because I can get them for free through Amazon or the library, but that’s just a rationalization.

8) I only learned how to pronounce “caprese” a couple months ago and I order caprese salads all the time.

9) I’m never sure how to spell “restaurant.”

10) I only know the names of a handful of my “gym buddies.” I’m bad about not paying attention to their names when we meet and then becoming friends with them later.

Okay, so there’s my embarrassing laundry for all to see:)Β  Anyone else willing to share theirs?

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33 thoughts on “Ten Embarrassing Truths

    1. Thanks:) Unfortunately, the friend won’t be okay. We’re all just trying to come to terms with it. It’s definitely a reminder to embrace every moment because you never know how many you’ll have.

  1. I own Air Supply’s Greatest Hits CD and can sing along with all the songs… Whew! There. Got THAT out of the way! πŸ™‚

    1. That’s a good one? Is there video or audio evidence?

      That reminds me of the video that was made one year of me teaching my 8th grade students how to square dance during bus call. Yup, I’m still a Texas gal at heart!

      1. Thankfully I only post song videos on my blog that I have written and sang…. Whew! Close one. Ya gotta love the harmonies of Air Supply, right?…. LOL…

        Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to laminate my MAN-CARD.

  2. 1. I am an extremist. My haircut dilemma is like yours in that I grow it out for several years, not maintained by a visit to the hairdresser, only to want to shave it off. This is a good example, however it applies to other areas in my life as well; all or nothing, not much in between.
    2. Writing sometimes feels like having a bout of constipation. Good god, why is that so?
    3. I like dancing in the rain. I don’t do it often enough though.
    4. I thought foodie concoctions were my forte’ ! Braised cabbage in cream and lemon juice with cracked black pepper is not my concoction, but one I have adopted as a comfort food.
    5. I was given a brand new bike and because I wasn’t given a bicycle tire pump, it has become a place to hang my recycling bag before I take it to the bin outside.
    6. I exercise in 2months:2 years ratio. That is I am damn good about exercising for two months, buy a new pair of running shoes for my efforts, then don’t exercise at all for two years. Embarrassing!
    7. I am a die hard optimist who suffers from an undercurrent of depression.
    8. I don’t watch TV at all, but have a TV and my only couch faces it. I find this faΓ§ade very funny!
    9. I like mint flavor in nearly all forms, but won’t touch mint chocolate chip icecream! Eeekkk!
    10. I am pretty flexible in that I can do some things like a contortionist, yet I have never figured out how to do a somersault.

    1. Love it! I can do somersaults but I’m so inflexible that I can only touch my toes after an hour long yoga class. Maybe there’s a correlation between these two things:)

  3. Re: #s 4 and 6. Two reasons I was thinking last night I’m not sure I’m ready to begin dating! Have to keep car clean, keep myself shaven and looking cute . . . feeling a bit lazy and not sure if worth it:)

  4. Oh man, I’m with you on the spelling of restaurant (you won’t believe it but I didn’t even spell it right then). Thank got for spell check!

    Thanks for sharing πŸ™‚


        1. That is a tough one too! I also would have to add “separate” to the list. I always want to replace an “a” with an “e.”

          It’s a good think I teach math!

  5. I am sorry to hear about your friend, and I related to your use of humor to lighten the mood. There’s a definite place for it in the midst of grief, and I hope that you find it to be healing. Thanks for giving me a bit of a laugh, and I share a few things on your list.

  6. I just stumbled onto your blog and feel like I’m reading my own story. It is helpful for me to see that you are having a happy ending….congrats on your nuptials.
    My dog is also named Tiger and I too can’t spell resturarnt. I love haircuts but that is because my girlfriend is my hair stylist. I am just a month shy of three years since my Hex told me he wanted a divorce and I said “Fine, I’m out”. I moved out three weeks later and into an apartment a week after that. My motto is keep moving forward. And I try. It’s up and down but always forward.

    Keep on keeping on!

  7. I’m so about number 10. I made a sincere effort when we moved in three years ago to get the names of all the parents on the block with kids my kids age…and then the buggers all moved out. I couldn’t tell you who the new neighbours are. The guy with the Lexus, the English guy, the lady with the glasses and her mom. That’s who they are now.

  8. 1) I suffer select OCD. I park in the same parking spot every day at home and work (and have a bad day if someone else is in my parking spot). I grab exactly three napkins out of any napkin dispenser. I’m weird.

    2) I watch way too much television. Obsessed with the comic-book shows.

    3) Speaking of comic-books, I have about 10,000 total and I’ve read a majority of them.

    4) I am obsessed about my haircut (probably from my time in the Marine Corps). I cannot stand having long hair. I would get a haircut every single week if I had the time or the money (right now it’s about every two weeks).

    5) I now love sushi after getting over my fear of trying new things (thanks to my girlfriend).

    6) I drink way too much coffee but secretly hate how it stains my teeth.

    7) I oil my beard every single morning. More OCD I guess.

    8) I sneeze very loud. My son used to make fun of me when I sneezed. “Dude, Why do you have to sneeze so damn loud?” he used to say. He started saying that when he was about 6 years old! Even with the “damn”. I couldn’t reprimand him because he was so funny. Seriously, it’s like a cartoon it’s so loud.

    9) I am a very deep sleeper. I could probably sleep on an actual rock every night and still sleep soundly. I’ve actually done that in the Marine Corps.

    10) I never remember any of my dreams (or nightmares…which may be a good thing). I wake in the morning with a “blank” slate. My time asleep is totally empty to me like it never happened.

    Look at that. 10! I didn’t think I would have that many.

  9. 1. I have so much dog hair on my couch that I generally put a sheet or blanket over it when I want to sit on it. Though sometimes i vacuum when someone new is coming over.
    2. I love to wear my comfortable, raggedy clothes at home.
    3. I check the stove at least twice before I leave the house and say “off” as I look at each knob.
    4. I’ve never used an ATM or an automatic dishwasher. And I still write and mail checks to pay most of my bills.
    5. I really do hug trees. But I’m not embarrassed about that. They like to be hugged, and it makes up for using the paper checks.

  10. Thank you. I have to admit, I”ve helped load someone else’s diswasher, and someone used an ATM for me once. πŸ™‚

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