Court Ordered Pause: Part Two

12 Responses

  1. Paula says:

    The government is too involved already. There should not be a waiting period for either. Two adults who produce valid documents proving their age and citizenship should be able to get married when they want to. Same with divorce, though with that there has to be a fair division of property and an agreement for child support/custody arrangements for minor children. But there is no reason for the state to arbitrarily stick its nose in and impose waiting periods at either end.

  2. blogventer says:

    I’m with you on these points, Lisa. It is NOT the job of the state, or anyone else, to babysit what two people decide to do with their marriage. After all, whose marriage is it?

  3. maria5125 says:

    I completely agree that waiting period is meaningless because by the time someone files for divorce, you would hope that there had been discussions before, maybe counseling, to try and save the marriage. And even if not, by the time you take that step it’s normally to late anyway so what is the point of making people wait longer.

  4. This is an extremely interesting and of course, emotional discussion. Thanks for following up.

  5. The pause seems meaningless if the marriage has broken down. It is much more difficult to proceed when one party refuses to accept there will be a divorce, as in my case, and that meant because he wouldn’t agree it took well over a year to go through. Not ideal on either side, as the waiting in limbo is stressful and can lead to even more acrimony. My lessons learned and much more are what I now coach women on.

  6. I don’t understand all the replies here. Are you meaning your divorce – including all the financial settlement – was complete in only eight months?

  7. sarafoley says:

    I have never been divorced so I can’t say with any authority…but like Elizabeth I am from Australia where there is a 12 month wait before divorce can be filed. that doesn’t mean that you can’t separate physically and financially during that time. I don’t really understand what the problem is with that. Marriage is a serious business and it should be difficult to undo. maybe that’s why i have never been married đŸ˜‰ although i have been in a defacto relationship for 13 years.

  8. reocochran says:

    I probably will be among the minority saying I should have waited longer to marry, then chosen to divorce more quickly. I have been in counseling with two husbands in the past for over a year apiece. Neither person changed what I felt were ‘deal breakers’ once they were in counseling. I have read that people can change, but it takes both and a lot of work. One ex I knew four years, then although I grew up and had kids, he remained in the happy hour too long. Never thought that partying in college would lead to alcoholism and he was a ‘mean’ drunk. The second ex I knew for over a year, maybe not long enough but an extra child (ours) led to pressure and fighting, which is so weird because he had two with first, I had two. who would have thought he would decide sleeping with at least 3-4 people would be acceptable parenting? Just spilling a little, there are no predictions but I do feel more able to make a decision since I have been single for 6 years now. I think you were right not to leap into a second marriage and right to want the broken marriage to be over!

  1. February 23, 2013

    […] Follow Up – Court Ordered Pause: Part Two […]

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