He May be a Character, but I Narrate the Story
This one mental shift helped me let go of some of the anger I was holding towards my ex-husband.
Initially, I viewed both of us as characters in some twisted romance turned psychological drama. He, of course, was the antagonist, performing all sorts of unspeakable acts towards me. I was fearful of turning each page, afraid of what horrors would await me. I felt powerless, victimized.
Then I realized, although I may not have the power to write my story, I can shift into the position of the narrator, while still remaining in the story. As the narrator, I have the ability to interpret his actions, guide the story, and shift the focus. I could not control the actions of the antagonist, but I could surely control how I wove them into the story. This guise also allows me to step back from the action, gaining perspective and a broader view.
He will always be a character in my story, but as my own narrator, I choose to make him a minor one.