You Don’t Know What You Carry Until It’s Gone

Today is a good day.

No, today is a GREAT day.

This marks the first weekend I’ve had since the start of the school year (8 very long months ago) that I didn’t bring home at least a day’s worth of work to do.

Not only that, but all my kiddos tested on their final units last week. So with only review, testing and preview on the horizon, I can finally collapse relax.

And it feels amazing.

I have an old 16 GB iPhone 5 that’s been limping alongside this school year. I’ve had to dutifully and constantly delete files in order to make room for the demands of the app upgrades and system updates. All year, it’s been a constant battle between its needs and its limitations.

I made a difficult decision last week and deleted Pandora from its memory, freeing up enough space for normal operation.

Today, I feel like my phone. I’ve been able to delete the memory-guzzling planning and lesson preparation app from my brain, leaving enough space for normal operation.

Alongside, the fear that I’ve carried about screwing up this inaugural math program and irrevocably damaging young math minds has faded. By all accounts, it’s been a successful year.

And so now, even though we still have 8 more weeks remaining, I feel like I’m on vacation.

It’s amazing, our ability to shoulder heavier and heavier loads without collapse. And it’s often only once we release the weight that we are aware of how much weight we carry.

So today, I’m breathing easier. Appreciating the sunshine. And so incredibly grateful for the opportunites presented to me this year. And even more grateful to have survived.

To all those carrying heavy loads today, may you find a place to set it down for moment and take a rest.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “You Don’t Know What You Carry Until It’s Gone

  1. Those heavy loads so many of us carry, can be crippling. There’s a quote that says “Those mountains that you’re carrying were only meant to be climbed”. I forget the author, but it always stands out in my mind, because I’ve yet to lose that heavy load, but when I notice I’m at all relaxed it makes an enormous difference.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s