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Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A “How to Thrive” Guide After Divorce


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We push people away because we are afraid of letting them in and being hurt when they leave.

We grasp on to people that are not good for us because we are afraid of being alone and someone is better than no one.


Pushing and pulling are fear, not love.


Love is holding.


Loosely enough so that each person has the freedom to grow and change.

And firmly enough so that each person knows they are supported.


It is trusting the other person enough that they want to stay even if they have the ability to leave.

And trusting yourself that you will be okay if they do.



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8 thoughts on “Holding

  1. Shel Silverstein’s wonderful, wise, creative book of drawings, “The Missing Piece Meets the Big O” says this so well. My favorite book to use to get across this idea / understanding.

  2. Reblogged this on The Coachable Coachâ„¢ and commented:
    Trust…if not there you walk through life like if you were constantly walking on thin ice…afraid of the ice breaking under the weight of your doubts, suspicion, and fear of losing what you have…because having someone/something is better than having no one or nothing…even if they/it are not good for us. Trusting yourself is knowing yourself and when you know yourself you are able to let go of someone or something without fear, without feeling lost…

  3. This is an amazing sentiment and a beautiful reminder that it is possible to love too tightly. We each have to be our own person within a relationship and empower the other to be the best version of themselves as well <3

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