We push people away because we are afraid of letting them in and being hurt when they leave.
We grasp on to people that are not good for us because we are afraid of being alone and someone is better than no one.
Pushing and pulling are fear, not love.
Love is holding.
Loosely enough so that each person has the freedom to grow and change.
And firmly enough so that each person knows they are supported.
It is trusting the other person enough that they want to stay even if they have the ability to leave.
And trusting yourself that you will be okay if they do.