We push people away because we are afraid of letting them in and being hurt when they leave.

We grasp on to people that are not good for us because we are afraid of being alone and someone is better than no one.


Pushing and pulling are fear, not love.


Love is holding.


Loosely enough so that each person has the freedom to grow and change.

And firmly enough so that each person knows they are supported.


It is trusting the other person enough that they want to stay even if they have the ability to leave.

And trusting yourself that you will be okay if they do.



Thank you for sharing!

8 thoughts on “Holding

  1. Z. – Deep South – Working to rebuild a life sidelined by my husband's infidelity, our divorce, and his suicide...all of which occurred in just four months....the worst four months of my life.
    Z. says:

    perfectly stated. thank you~

  2. Shel Silverstein’s wonderful, wise, creative book of drawings, “The Missing Piece Meets the Big O” says this so well. My favorite book to use to get across this idea / understanding.

  3. Lars Bolin – New York, USA – Transition & Retirement Coach - learn how to Live & Retire by Design...not by chance. Have the life you want. Get the help you need. I'm a bi-lingual professional with strong background in customer advisory services & coaching.
    Lars Bolin says:

    Reblogged this on The Coachable Coach™ and commented:
    Trust…if not there you walk through life like if you were constantly walking on thin ice…afraid of the ice breaking under the weight of your doubts, suspicion, and fear of losing what you have…because having someone/something is better than having no one or nothing…even if they/it are not good for us. Trusting yourself is knowing yourself and when you know yourself you are able to let go of someone or something without fear, without feeling lost…

  4. meridethcohrs – I'm Merideth Cohrs, a Certified Holistic Health Coach and Wellness Advocate with doTERRA essential oils. I have gone through an intensive personal journey over the last 4 years, which has led to a deep appreciation for health, wellness, and living in BALANCE. I have discovered that, for me, eating a plant-based diet, using natural medicine to keep my family healthy, having dedicated time to practice yoga and run, and having the mental PRESENCE to be with my family equals HAPPINESS. I hope to share my experience, strength, and hope with you here!
    meridethcohrs says:

    This is an amazing sentiment and a beautiful reminder that it is possible to love too tightly. We each have to be our own person within a relationship and empower the other to be the best version of themselves as well <3

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